Hands Dance

Hersheys, Sock Monkeys & Valentines Day

2012-02-14T23:00:00.000-06:00

So today was my first valentines day with Ray... I had to work of course So I was looking forward to just getting to spend the evening with my sweet husband...

Since we are newlyweds we just got each other a small gift.. & a ~~small~~ card.. we had planned on waiting till tonight to exchange gifts but since I knew Ray had hid my gift & I had plans on organizing the closet in our bedroom over the weekend.. we exchanged gifts on Friday nite..

The Card Ray Got me

The JUMBO card I got Ray & his Sock Monkey!

The teddy bear, Choclate & HUGE coffee cup Ray Got me :)

Ray had gotten me a Hershey's coffee mug (its huge) with a little Chocolate & a cute little teddy bear in it.. Plus a sweet card.. I got him a JUMBO card & a small box of chocolates & a sock monkey!! His first Sock Monkey!!

I worked & came home with Little Ceaser's Pizza & crazy bread... WE LOVE THAT CRAZY BREAD... & had dinner & watched the Duggars with Ray... so overall.. I have to say that it was a wonderful Valentines day.. So off to bed I go with a full heart...

Love to you all!!

Favorite Wedding Pictures

2012-02-05T23:21:00.000-06:00

So you guys got to see a few of my favorite Engagement Pictures.. What did you guys think?? Okay.. enough delaying... Here are favorite wedding pictures!!!

Our wedding Cake.. Thanks Mama for making it!!

The Unity Candle my Mama made :)

The Church all Decorated :) Thanks again Mama!!

Our Sweet Nephew.. Love this pic :)

Sean Loves his Uncle Ray!

My Brother & his Girlfriend! We Love You Joe & Kristen!

Me & My Sister! Love you Melissa :)

My girls.. Thanks Erika, Melissa, Kristen, Madison & Kiley!

My Mom & Dad.. Love you Both!

The Ceremony!

Our Vows! :)

Toasting with Sparkling Cider

I love My Parents & My Husband!

Our Rings!


My Favorite of Me & My Husband!! :)

I hope you enjoyed a few of the wedding pictures...There are so many of them its hard to choose which ones to post... I wish in some way I could post all of them... But if you guys bug me enough..I just might!!! :)

Ray & I Just celebrated 2 months of married bliss yesterday.. I'll admit that the road has had ups & downs.. but we are learning that the best way to navigate all of it is together & by talking & praying together.. And most of all taking each day One day at a time...

Hope you enjoyed the wedding pictures... I enjoyed posting them for you guys!!

Lots of Love,

Favorite Engagement Pictures

2012-01-26T00:04:00.000-06:00

SO the delay is over...I've held off as long as I can... or as long as I can without you guys torturing me about the pictures I've been promising y'all I would post.. so I guess the best place to start is with the Engagement Pictures.. After all we were Engaged first before we were married ;-)

So here we are... my favorite Engagement Pictures...

To be continued..... with wedding pictures!!!

Love to you all!!

Welcome to the Family Zoe!!

2012-01-21T23:48:00.002-06:00

So this past week has been crazy & insane.. I am still uploading wedding pictures to FB.. but its taking lots of time to sort thru the ones I like & thru the ones I am able to post... Then add on the continuance of unpacking & organizing... I finally got to Lowe's to get the brackets I needed for our bookshelves.. (always remember to keep close tabs on where those are when you plan to move.. just a little warning)

So this weekend we watched Courageous.. I have to say it was a awesome movie... I have lots more thoughts on this movie which I will save for another blog post...(Its only fair :-D )

So Ray & I drove to Nashville today to visit his brother who lives there & who had a extra microwave that we ~~badly~~ needed.. I have been looking at Goodwill & discount stores for awhile for a cheap one.. as the Duggars say.. it Pays to Buy used & save the difference.. SO special Thanks to Jamie D for supplying our household with a microwave... in the last 2 months that we have lived here I can honestly say that tonight was a highlight for me being able to have one for leftovers & for frozen dinners :-)

Then after we got back from Nashville Ray & I got a wonderful visit from his Sons... Their mom drove them in so we can visit with them & do a late Christmas with them & to bring us Ray's Dog.. Zoe.. So now not only does Taco have a family member who is his size... he also has a sister who in my opinion lets him know she's the boss around here.. oh lordy... :D

So without further ado.. its my pleasure to introduce you to the newest member of our family.. ZOE...

So church & more unpacking & organizing awaits me tmw... Hope you all have a blessed nite...

Love to you all :)

Trying to get back on track...

2012-01-19T10:08:00.001-06:00

As many of you already know.. Ray & I got married on Dec 3rd... Life as I know it has been forever changed in so many Wonderful ways.... There has been blissful days & there has been rough days.. but hey who said Marriage was easy.. Right?!

I moved from my 3 bedroom 2 car garage house to a small one bedroom apartment about 5 minutes from my work... so not only has life been about adjusting to being married.. life has been about adjusting to small living quarters with Ray & Taco.... No worries.. I still have Dino.. but he is currently living with family members out in the country where he has a nice yard to run around in.. (something he won't have here in the apartment) I have been slowly (as my work & church schedule allows me to) unpacking & organizing our little home... sorting thru what is to stay with us...what is to be sold.. and what is to go to goodwill...

Many of you have been wondering about the engagement & wedding pictures.. I apologize for not posting any as of yet... but I promise that as soon as I get time.. they will be up here on the blog..

So for now I prepare to leave for work.. & focus on getting my life back on track as I adjust to married life... & I can honestly say... LIFE is GOOD!!!

Love to you all!

I Will Choose Joy!

2011-11-10T22:44:00.000-06:00

This Post is kinda late... I had started working on it in the middle of September.. Right around the time Sara Frankl (Gitzengirl) took a turn for the worse & sadly Passed away.. I never posted it like I had hoped to.. but it was during that period that the most incredible thing happened to me.. So let me tell you about Sara.. then I'll share my Joyous news with you..

For those of you who aren't on Twitter.. let me share who Sara Frankl is.. I've never met her in person.. I had hoped to on this side of heaven but Sadly I'll have to wait till I get to heaven to meet her... But I knew Sara thru her twitter updates, her blog & thru a couple emails we exchanged when James passed away..I was blown away by her faith.. your unwillingness to allow her situation to bring her down...Her choice to always CHOOSE JOY regardless of her circumstances.. Like others Sara impacted my life in more ways that I can say... When she died my heart ached.. but most of all I was reminded of how Sara lived & how she would want me to live... Looking forward to the future with Joy & Anticipation for what GOD has in store for me... So I choose to do just that..

As many of you know I had finally gotten to the point where I was considering Dating again.. I had already had been on a few dates that turned into NOTHING.. and quite honestly I was getting a bit discouraged.. But I never stopped praying about it.. I left my future Husband in GOD's hands... Telling GOD that I trusted that in his timing he would lead me to the man he wanted me to spend my life with.. And that's when GOD put Ray Cooper in my life...

The night before I was told about Ray I had a date with another guy...a date..that never happened... I was supposed to meet said Guy at Ihop for dinner.. & he was a NO SHOW... so after waiting 30 minutes (do you actually wait that long??) I finally got in the car to go home.. & literally threw in the towel.. I told GOD that if me being single for the rest of my life is what he wanted for me then He would have to help me be okay with it..I spent a considerable about of time in prayer that night.. I stopped at Longhorn Steakhouse & used a gift card my secret pal at church gave me & got dinner & then went home to eat & play with the dogs & sew before bed..

The next night was Wed so that meant I had church.. Its rare nowadays for me to be able to attend wednesday night services mostly due to work.. but this one particular night I got lucky & had gotten off work around 530 and was able to grab dinner & go.. After our classes I was walking out & thought I was saying "HEY" to who I thought was the youth pastor's wife.. But it was another woman who looked like her.. Right before I left the church she tracked me down to find out who I was... we got to talking & she told me about Ray.. I went home not really dwelling on it.. & went home to sew & play with the dogs before bed.. I wish I had paid more attention to my phone that night because my friend at church had went home & told Ray about me & he had messaged me on FB..

I got his message the next morning & responded... by the time I got lunch at work the next day he was calling me on the phone & we talked that entire hour & then 6 hours that night after I got off work... We had our first Date 2 days later & when we meet we instantly knew that we had found the one that GOD had choosen for each other..

So without further ado.. I introduce you to my sweet Fiance whom I will be marrying on Dec 3rd of this year...

Ray & I are soo excited about where GOD is taking us.. Ray has been a minister for 8 years & wants to get back into Ministry soon.. We're moving back home to Clarksville TN so we can be closer to my family.. I am so so very happy & so very excited...

We had our engagement pictures taken the other nite at my sister's house.. as soon as she emails them to me I will post some of my favorites :)

So looking forward to seeing where GOD takes us!! I'M CHOOSING JOY!!

In His Grip

Prayers for Jess

2011-10-25T22:33:00.001-05:00

First of all I would like to ask your forgiveness for not posting.. what since AUGUST? Wow.. so so sorry.. I've been a awful blogger lately..

But tonight I write from the bottom of my heart asking my beloved readers & followers (if your still out there) to please keep a dear friend in your prayers.. Her name is Jessica Tidwell.. she is a good friend of mine who's husband is a pastor.. About a month ago she was raped by a member of her church.. you can read her blog as she shares her healing process here..

RAPED.. my mind can't even wrap itself around that word...NO woman should ever have to face that.. but sadly it happens.. happens to about 600 women a day according to crime statistics... that my dear ones grieves my heart so badly right now... My Heart hurts even more after reading the post Jess wrote..

So as I lay my head on my pillow.. as my heart grieves for my sweet, beautiful friend.. I pray for conviction to fall on the man who did this to her.. I pray for healing to Jess as she seeks GOD in the midst of all whats happened.. I pray for her marriage, her kids & her family.. That they would know that GOD has them in the palm of his hand...

Will you dear sweet ones join me in prayer for her? Will you please go love on her & encourage her & let her know she's not alone.. I appreciate it & love all of you..

In his Grip,

They CALLED!! Job Interview update

2011-08-15T09:41:00.002-05:00

GASP! Another day of 2 blog posts from me... what is the world coming to folks?? I mean seriously?! my life isn't that exciting.. I promise!! :-)

SO for those of you who are ~~spamming~~ bugging my twitter & FB feed... here is the awaited news...

The School board called.. the one position I applied for has been filled... but.. they have 2 new openings & are considering my application for those openings.. they also incouraged me to apply for a different position that is similar to what I applied for.. which I am going to look into...

So keep praying my beloveds!! I am believing GOD is up to something here :-)

Will keep you all posted... gonna go watch a movie with my mom before she goes home!!

Thanks for all your love & support!!

2 years... 2 fast...

2011-08-14T23:14:00.002-05:00

I've been meaning to write this post since Wed... but I'm just going to admit now first & foremost that this week has been rough...Wednesday marked 2 years since James went to be with Jesus..for the last 3 or 4 nights I have literally had to hold his picture in my hand just to get myself to fall asleep.. Wed nite I cried myself to sleep while clinging to his picture..

Since I was off Tues instead of Wed.. which in my opinion was a wise idea so I wouldn't be home dwelling on James being gone.. I went to pick up Mama (James's Mom) & we both went to the cemetery to put new flowers out.. Either the wind keeps blowing his off or someone keeps stealing the nice flowers I put together for his vase :(

After that I went to my oldest stepsons to spend time with him & his Boys.. as I was leaving to come back home my youngest grandbaby stopped me & said " are you gonna bring PeePaw James back with you next time you come over??" Be still my beating heart... I stopped dead in my tracks & got down on my knees in front of him & said "Baby... he's in Heaven with Jesus remember?" Landon pointed to the sky saying "He's Up there?!" I nodded & pulled him into a hug... Landon was only 2 when James passed on... So he's still trying to understand the concept of his Grandpa being in Heaven & not here with us.. I left their house with my heart breaking into 2 once again...

Wednesday I was thankful for the distraction of work... I was able to stay busy & not dwell on the fact that it was the anniversary of his death... I thought abt it lots but I was thankful for the distractions & was able to keep from crying until I was home alone.. and was able to just cry & pray & mourn & reflect back on the 4 years I did have with him...

But at the same time I look back on the last 2 years of my life... & thru the trials & tests I've faced & I realize just how far GOD has brought me & how much he has pruned me & how much i've grown in the last 2 years..

Lately my life has consisted of going to work & church & coming home to literally sit at the table or lay in bed reading the word....I've enrolled in the Bible in 90 Days program again at Mom's Tool Box.. & this time i'm totally digging & diving in with Full force... currently as I type this.. I am about 4 days behind.. but will be caught up soon...

So its been 2 years... where has the time gone? But as I sit here to reflect back i'm so thankful for GOD's strength that has carried me through the last 2 years.. His strength that has helped me endure & his Grace that has helped me grow & prosper in his LOVE...

Well i'm off here... My mom is in town visiting.. but I just wanted to say a Special thank you to all you Family & Friends.. for all your love & support you've sent my way in the last 2 years... it means so much...

Love to you all

A big Interview Update

2011-08-02T18:45:00.002-05:00

GASP!!

2 Blog posts from me in One day... OH MY! what is the world coming to ;-)
I just wanted to update you all to let you know that the interview with the School Board went well... Well I believe the Question/Answer part of it went Fantastic...but then there was a little TEST.... Knew that was gonna happen but how they tested me I had NO CLUE How the test was gonna be given...

So they tell me that they are gonna play a little cassette tape with the Jungle book story on it.. I was like okay this will be easy.... but then I realize that there is background music along with the storyteller reading the story.. I had a very hard time understanding what the storyteller was saying... I even told the interviewers that I do well in face to face settings.. but having background noise like that made it very difficult to understand... They told me they understood.. asked a few more questions & that was it... the whole interview lasted about 30 mins. They will be making a decision in the next couple days... so please continue to pray! I really would love to get this Job!!!

All my love,

A big Interview!

2011-08-02T07:24:00.003-05:00

I'm up a little extra early this morning.. partially because I cant sleep anymore... I went to bed with a massive headache last nite & I believe that it was partially due to my excitement for today's events...

Many of you who are very close to me already know whats taking place in my life.... but for those of you who don't i'm fixing to fill you in...there has been some exciting things going on!!

As many of you know I am Hard of hearing.. I can hear with the aid of a cochlear implant... & I also have 17 years experience with ASL (American Sign Language) so after a month or so of praying & talking it over with my Small group on Friday nite.. About 2 weeks ago I put in a application to Interpret for the deaf/hard of hearing students in the school district here...

Then last Thursday I got a phone call for the interview...which is today at 10 am CST...

So everyone I know is praying.... will you join them as well?? Please pray for me because honestly i'm ~~alot~~ a little nervous... but most of all I want GOD to have his way in this... If this is where he wants me then I'm trusting him to help walk me thru this....

I'm gonna get off here to spend some time praying before I get dressed to go... I will be sure to keep you all updated!!

Thanks guys!!

Keep praying for Karl

2011-08-01T16:16:00.002-05:00

So sorry for not keeping up with postings about Karl... I've not let up praying for him... and I certainly hope you guys haven't either....but I wanted to direct you guys back to Linny's blog so you could once again check the needs that Karl has & ask you all once again to Join a day of prayer & fasting for Karl which will be held on Thursday...

They did surgery last week to insert a trac & feeding tube... right now Karl is fighting Staph infection somewhere in his body...Please pray that leaves his body right away & that the restlessness that Karl is under will leave & be replaced with perfect peace so his body will continue to heal...

Thank you my prayer warriors for joining us in prayer for Karl.... Keep praying for complete healing to Karl's body...

Please check back here tmw if you can...around early morning... I have a special prayer request of my own that I would love to share with you... Things have been really busy here the last couple week & I can't wait to fill you in on whats taking place in my life!

Praying you all are having a blessed Monday!!!

Happy Birthday Dad! & Please dont stop praying!!

2011-07-25T12:00:00.003-05:00

So I just discovered the Joys of FREE WIFI at the McDonalds right next to my workplace... Praise JESUS... this might be a solution to my lack of blogging?! Sure hope so... So in the madness of it all I thought I would go ahead & update with a blog post... Starting with a Shout Out to My dad...

Happy Birthday DADDY!! He turned 56 on Thurs the 20th.... but I can't let it go unmarked on the blog!!
SO Happy Birthday Dad... thanks for all you do for me & thanks for all the wisdom you impart on my life!! I wouldn't be who I am if it weren't for you!!

And for those of you who follow me faithfully on the blog & on twitter... the Prayers for Karl are still needed... Karl has made some progress in the last week & is now breathing on his own somewhat.. But he still hasn't opened his eyes on his own!!! PLEASE KEEP PRAYING!

The prayer vigil is still ongoing.. so if you haven't had a chance to sign up please do so here!
If you want to see Linny's Updates go to her Blog HERE..

Keep onward prayer warriors... GOD is gonna do something BIG....

well better get off here & get back to work :)

All my love,

PRAYER & FASTING FOR KARL HUJUS

2011-07-21T01:19:00.004-05:00

So Linny had updated with a request from all of us.. A request I pray that we can all join in on... The 72 hour prayer vigil has been extended into Thursday so if you still want to join you still can...Karl has meet all of his Goals but the one thing that the doctors really need for him to do is..

TO OPEN HIS EYES ALL BY HIMSELF..

So here is Linny's request.. I hope you all will join us in this.. because I honestly believe that GOD is about to do something wonderful here..

Will you spend today Praying & Fasting for Karl?

I won't be able to fast every meal but I am planning on at least fasting one... and continuing the whole day interceding the throne of Heaven on Karl's behalf...

Please Continue to keep him in your prayers... if you want to see the updates go to Linny's blog... Please leave words of encouragement for Karl & his family.. I happen to know that Karl's parents have been taking the time to read thru some of the comments.. So lets lift them up..

In his Love,

Prayers for Karl Hujus

2011-07-19T23:39:00.000-05:00

I had ever intention on getting this up monday night after I heard the news..but things have been busy with me working crazy hours..i've honestly haven't had time to think about updating the Blog...

but that changes now... friends we have a brother in Christ in need right now... If you wouldn't mind going to Linny Saunders's website & join our Prayer vigil for Karl Hujus. He's the boyfriend of Linny's daugther Autumn.. He was on his way to pick Autumn up for church when he had a car accident & was thrown from his motorcycle a good ways.. He's been in ICU since Sunday Nite & NEEDS OUR PRAYERS!!

There is currently a 72 hour prayer vigil going on his behalf right now.. & I believe the more people we get praying the better... so would you head over to Linny Saunders's website... check out the updates she is leaving us about Karls condition.. Join us in prayer & sign up to join the vigil if you so feel lead..

So as I prepare to go to sleep... I prepare to intercede on Karl's behalf... will you do the same?

Love,

#Sexyback11 Week 1

2011-06-25T07:45:00.000-05:00

So here is the post i started on Thurs for our #sexyback11 check in but I didn't finish until today.. I need to work on getting the updates up on time!!

THUR JUN 23, 2011
SO Today is the Week 1 check in for #sexyback11...

I was really really afraid to weight in today... mostly because since I have been on vacation all week I haven't been able to get to the gym.. until today... I stayed with my family for 3 days.. & yesterday I Locked myself out of my house for about 25 mins & ~~wasn't able to make it~~ skipped the gym before going to hang out with friends..

Then add on top of it.. I stayed with my family & I'll be honest to admit that I didn't exactly ~~Stick to the diet~~ eat right while out of town..unless you count eating what my niece & nephew did while at my sisters house a good diet... but I'll admit there was ~~lots~~ about 2 days of eating pizza in the mix of everything that I ate this week.. once at my sisters & then again yesterday :)

So... that's why I was afraid to weight in... afraid that I hadn't lost any weight.. that I gained some due to lack of exercise & poor diet over the last few days... but I was actually more shocked at what I saw the scale when I got on it today :)

AND this weeks weight in

So I lost 3 lbs... better then losing Nothing... :-)

Setting my goal this week to get back into the gym 3 to 5 times a week...& planning on doing better with my eating habits at work by not ordering out so much & bringing a lunch from home...

Hope you all are seeing results too!!

Collidescope11 & Sexyback11 & Father's Day

2011-06-19T10:51:00.002-05:00

Just have a couple things to share with you all.. First and Foremost.. I LOVE MY CHURCH! Crosspoint Community Church has had a HUGE impact on me the last 2 years.. I am so thankful that GOD has allowed this Community to turn into FAMILY! So whenever I can volunteer I try my best to do what I can...SO last week.. ( yeah I know this is late) I spent my day off helping out on the last day of Collidescope at the Nashville Campus... I thought ahead & charged up the battery on the camera & took it with me... I was able to snap some pics of some awesome kids.. & get some wicked Video of Ryan Bult eating a live Cicada... (NO JOKE)

Chris Surratt & Heather Whittaker

.Losiah Whittaker checking the cookie out :)

Gage Wilson & Montana Bergstrom
Abby? Ellie? Smith (hmm which one is it?) Montana Bergstrom & Seanna Whittaker

And you have totally got to watch this wicked video....

Collidescope 2011 from Rissa on Vimeo.

Then for those of you who do follow Carlos Whittaker & Grant Jenkins on Twitter you probably know about our #sexyback11 challenge... How many of you have been watching the new show on ABC called Extreme Makeover Weigh Loss Edition with Chris Powell? Well I have for the last 3 weeks.. & I'll be honest to say that its motivated me to get off my butt & get those unwanted pounds off & get healthy...So as of Monday.. I've joined a Gym.. & as of Thursday I've joined the #sexyback11 challenge.. Go to Carlos's website to find out how to join & what you need to do!!

SO here is my week 1 photo of the scale..according to the gym I weight 180 so keep in mind my scale might be wrong :(

Last but not least... I want to say Happy Father's Day to my Dad.. He honesty & truly is the best Dad I could ask for!! I wouldn't be who I am today if it wasn't for his love & support!! THANKS FOR ALL YOU DO DAD!!

To you other Father's out there hope your day is filled with lots of love, laughter & a day filled with all you want to do!!

Happy Birthday MOM!

2011-05-30T22:36:00.003-05:00

I so wanted to have this post up before I had to walk out the door for work this morning.. but as somethings go.. sometimes you gotta wait till you can get to it.. I'll be honest when I say that life is just busy as ever.. with Summer now in full swing.. I'll only be honest & admit that life is just fixing to get even crazier..

Like this weekend.. yeah that was nuts... I worked till 1030 on sat nite.. stayed up till 1am getting stuff ready to take to Crosspoint Community Church for the Joplin trip.. got up around 63oish & dropped the stuff off & proceeded to drive to Clarksville TN for my mom's 50th birthday party...

I can honestly say that that was the best afternoon spent with my family & it was SOOOOO much needed..We went to church as a family.. came back for a Steak dinner.. & sat around & watched movies all evening till it was time to come back home..

So... 5o Years MOM....and you've been my mom for 26 of those years...and i've learned so much from you in those 26 years... So happy that your my mom & I look forward to gaining 50 more years of wisdom from you!!

I got the picture this time...but you'll have to excuse my crazy look on my face.. I must been trying to make my mom laugh or something...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM!

With all my Love,

Graduation, Mother's Day & James's Birthday...

2011-05-24T20:50:00.000-05:00

I guess I should start out by saying that I REALLY REALLY need to do better on the blogging... I'm so sorry.. I am really working on doing better..

I have to admit that things have been extremely crazy here the last couple weeks... work has been nuts.. not even gonna discuss that.. & then I've been continuing to keep busy with the 2 churches I call home..I've completed my 40 day fast from TV's & Movies without any problems at all.. to discover then when I came off the fast I rarely turn the TV on at all now... I read more or do other projects around the house.. maybe this way I can achieve my Goal of losing weight since i'm not glued to the TV so much now.

I've started studing 2 Beth Moore bible studies & let me tell you I'm totally hooked!!! I'm falling more & more in Love with GOD!! Add on top off that my normal Schedule of church add in my little brother graduating from college!! LETS GO PEAY!! Then Mother's day & then James's Birthday... wow.. yeah I know.. too much all at once..

So for those of you who know me well.. you'll know that my little brother Joe Mendes has been atttending APSU for the last 5 years.. yeah I know 5 YEARS!! But let me tell you all that hard work paid off!! He Graduated with Honors in his Class & on top of it got a full paid scholarship for Grad school... Look out world!! :) Here is a picture i snapped of him right before he graduated..

Then while i was there celebrating I got to celebrate Mother's Day with My mom... my only regret was not getting our picture snapped together in the middle of all the celebration..

James's 49th birthday was that week as well... So i made my trek out to the cemetery to put out some roses from the rosebush he planted for me the spring before he died... My heart just breaks that he's not here to celebrate with us.. My heart breaks over the fact that he wasn't here to celebrate the joyous news that my youngest stepson just found out awhile ago that him & his wife are expecting their first child.. but knowing him i'm sure he's up in Heaven dancing & giving Jesus a big high five over that news!!

And the last bit of this update... ends with more sad stuff.. a week ago on May 15th.. my car got broke into at church & my GPS was stolen... as angry as it made me I realize that sometimes people do things that just don't make any sense at all.. so after getting over the anger at the person who had done this.. I have been praying for that person (whomever he is) to find Christ & come clean.. GOD knows this man's heart....& as big as this seems... MY GOD IS BIGGER...

Last but not least... I wanted to add this last so that it really sticks with you as you prepare to go.. As many of you know our nation has been hit by some pretty nasty weather... Some say it may be Global Warming, ETC.. but in my heart I believe that this is GOD calling us. He is calling his people to rise up & wake up...(all I can think of is Luke 21:11)

Many of you have loved ones who have been deeply affected by the tornadoes.. Many of you yourself have been affected by them... But all I can say during this season is that we must stand together..we must fall to our knees... we must reach out & help Joplin & areas affected rebuild...SO for those of you who are wanting to do something please go here..Crosspoint Community Church...We are sending Crews out to Joplin as soon as this weekend to help out.. but please more than anything... PRAY... Pray for healing.. Pray for restoration.. Pray for those who have lost loved ones & pray & seek GOD's face on what he wants you & your family to do about this situation...

SO people..PRAY// GIVE// GO...

In his Love,

Easter Blessings & Michael W. Smith

2011-04-23T23:03:00.004-05:00

I can't go to bed without writing this post.. because I want to share something with you all.. something that I've been dreaming about for years has finally come true.. & my heart is so excited.. so blessed.. so I'm gonna share my Easter Blessing with you all..

Like so many other churches World Outreach Church here in Murfreesboro had to plan & plan for their Easter program..But I think God was behind the scenes big time in this event.. For those of you who know me.. or are really close to me you already know that I am a HUGE fan of Michael W. Smith. I absolutely love his music, but I have to explain.. MWS has had a HUGE impact on me.. It all started when I was 15 & had just undergone the Implant surgery & process of learning to hear again...one of MWS's Cds was one of the very first things I got to listen to after they turned the implant on...his music encouraged me.. even more so on the days where it was just HARD.. due to peers teasing or just having a bad day with the implant.. but each time I would listen to his music.. it would lift me up.. remind me that there was help... there was light at the end of the tunnel...11 years later.. his music still speaks to me & encourages me.. Even more so after James went to be with the LORD..

One of the last gifts James gave me before he died was 2 tickets to see Michael W. Smith & Steven Curtis Chapman live at the Ryman..and I have to honestly say that was one of the best worship experiences I have ever had in my entire life...

Well anyways.. Smitty was at World Outreach Church's Easter program.. he was actually doing the worship for the services. Since it was one of those Saturdays that I actually wasn't working till 11.. I went... Happy that I was again going to be able to hear Michael live & I honestly couldn't wait till I got there...

I pulled into Murphy Center's parking Lot at MTSU.. Ate a quick bite to eat & right before I got out of the car I prayed that I would be able to get good seating & that I would receive what GOD had in store for me... Just as I lifted up my head my good friend Shannon passed my car... I got out & stopped her... happy that I wasn't gonna be alone.. she told me they had ASL interpreters waiting inside.. so I followed them in..believe me I was shocked that the seating they had reserved was in the very front by the stage.. and imagine my surprise when Michael W. Smith walks by me & sits down 2 seats to my right..

Knowing I had to take this opportunity to live out my dream of being able to thank him personally on this side of heaven I got out of my seat & went to go sit next to him & asked him if I could share something with him...I told him Thank You for the impact he's had on my life in the last 1o years with his music & shared how his music encouraged me when I was going thru the process of learning to hear with the implant at age 15...I thanked him for allowing GOD to work thru him to impact my life.. and wished him a happy Easter..

The service was AMAZING... not just because of his music but because of GOD's presence being in the building..

And also because one of my lifelong dreams got to come true....now about that other part of that dream Smitty!! When can I Sign a song with you? ;-)

So as I wrap up my nite.. I thank GOD for allowing me to receive what he had in store for me... for allowing this wonderful opportunity to happen.. my only regret? Not getting my picture with him... My iPhone was in my pocket the entire time i talked to him but I didn't think to ask for the picture till later..but oh well... maybe there will be other opportunities :-)

So as I lay my head down to rest.. I thank GOD for the wonderful blessing of the cross.. I thank him for Jesus dying so I can live free from sin... I thank him for his blood that covers me.. & for the victory I have in him... & I thank him for people like Michael W. Smith who are obedient to what GOD calls them to do.. and uses that calling to impact people's lives... So once again Smitty.. THANK YOU for the way you allow GOD to use you.

So all I can say... WHAT A EASTER BLESSING!!

Much Love,

MAX ON LIFE

2011-04-18T23:29:00.004-05:00

I can honestly say that one of the most honoring privileges in my lifetime has been getting to meet Max Lucado. I got to meet him a month or so after James passed on into Heaven..Since meeting him & talking with him I've become a fan of his books & this one I think is one of my favorites thus far. So Join me as I share with you Max's new book.. "Max on Life"

Book Description

We have questions. Child-like inquiries. And deep, heavy ones.

In more than twenty-five years of writing and ministry, Max Lucado has been the receiving line for thousands of such questions. The questions come in letters, e-mails, even on Dunkin Donuts napkins. In Max on Life he offers thoughtful answers to more than 150 of the most pressing questions on topics ranging from hope to hurt, from home to the hereafter.

Max writes about the role of prayer, the purpose of pain, and the reason for our ultimate hope. He responds to the day-to-day questions—parenting quandaries, financial challenges, difficult relationships—as well as to the profound: Is God really listening?

A special addendum includes Max’s advice on writing and publishing.

Including topical and scriptural indexes and filled with classic Lucado encouragement and insight, Max on Life will quickly become a favorite resource for pastors and ministry leaders as well as new and mature believers.

Do you ever wonder what a pastor has to say about marriage? Dating relationships? Why Premarital sex is never the right thing? Why church is so important? Wonder what he has to say about those past hurts that are still tugging on your heart?

Or better yet what he has to say about your finances?

Then you choose the right book that’s in your very hands. Or if your reading this review you choose the right review to read. Because I have to honest and say that I have never seen a pastor tackle life’s hardest questions & takes letters from people all over who have written him & answers them in a honest & candid way like the way Max Lucado did in this book “Max on Life”

Not only does he answer the questions presented him.. he also backs a lot of them up with scripture. Which I believe to be so important since we as Christians need that biblical truth in our life.

So what do you struggle with the most? Is it fear? Is it hurt? Is it questions related to the bible & about Jesus & who he is and who he wants to be in your life? Then I can honestly say this book will be a perfect match for you. Max has been a pastor for more then thirty years. He may not know all the definite answer to every question. But one thing is constant through out the entire book. Turn to the cross. And I love how Max always directs you to the bible for answers to the question being asked!

So. Grab a cup of coffee. Get your bible for those scripture references and pull up a chair. Because its going to seem like your sitting right across from Max himself discussing these questions.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookSneeze.com <http://BookSneeze.com> book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 <http://www.access.gpo.gov/nara/cfr/waisidx_03/16cfr255_03.html> : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

The Final Summit

2011-04-11T09:19:00.002-05:00

Book Description
David Ponder is back. This time the fate of mankind is in his hands.
This is mankind’s last chance. Centuries of greed, pride, and hate have sent humanity hurtling toward disaster, and far from its original purpose. There is only one solution that can reset the compass and right the ship, and it consists of only two words.
With time running out, it is up to David Ponder and a cast of history’s best and brightest minds to uncover this solution before it is too late. The catch? They are allowed only five tries to discover the answer.

For those of you who are diehard Andy Andrews fans like me. You will love this book!! For those of you like me who are wanting to know what happens to David Ponder after he gets the seven decisions for personal success in the Travelers Gift then this is how you find out.

Andy Andrews does a wonderful job of mingling Fiction with History and during the course of reading this book I found out some history facts that even I didn’t know. Possibly because some of these facts aren’t in history books.

David Ponder is faced with one question that he must answer correctly to fix humanity before time runs out. So with the aid of other travelers will they be able to come up with a solution or is humanity forever doomed??

I love the way the book ends. But at the same time I wonder what David Ponder will do with the solution they found.

Want me to give you the answer?? Go to the nearest Christian bookstore & pick up a copy of The Final Summit to find out what David Ponder & the travelers do to save Humanity!

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookSneeze.com book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

CHECK the EAGLES OUT!!

2011-04-04T11:04:00.002-05:00

I just love all things to do with Nature.. honestly spiders and creepy crawlies creep me out but this is so amazing that I cant resist sharing.. My mom told me about it last week and everytime i'm close to my MacBook I have the live video up where i can see with while working on stuff around the house.. This is a live feed of a Bald Eagles nest in IOWA... there were 3 eggs & 2 have already hatched... join me in watching for the 3rd eaglet!!

Streaming Video by Ustream.TV
Hope you enjoy it as much as I do... stay turned here on the blog.. some exciting stuff is taking place in my life & I can't wait to share What GOD is doing with you all!

Lots of Love,

Fasting the TV.. I CAN LIVE WITHOUT IT!

2011-03-22T22:35:00.004-05:00

SO If you follow me on twitter you probably know by now i'm on a 4o day fast from TV.. I feel that GOD is calling me to really focus on him during this time.. and it meant removing any major distractions from my life for 40 days. I can honestly say that in the past 19 months since James died. I've allowed TV to be a distraction... I would go to church, pray read my bible & attend small groups & bible studies.. but on those nights that I don't have to go anywhere for groups or church or Bible studies.. that I come home from work.. take care of the dogs.. cook something to eat..and then... bam.. I'm vegged out in front of the TV till its time to put the dogs to bed & get ready for bed myself..

So for the last 2 weeks (I'm on week 3 i believe..) here's what I've been doing.. I been doing all my normal activities.. work, church, bible studies & small groups.. and then instead of eating in the living room.. I've actually been eating at the kitchen table with a book or my bible to read.. I've started a new Beth Moore bible study (Stepping UP) with one of my small groups & am loving the EXTRA time I have to really plug in the study.. and I've also been taking time to memorize scriptures with a close friend of mine.. She picks them.. I memorize them alongside her.. I hold her accountable for her fast.. and she holds me accountable for mine..

All I can say is GOD IS MOVING.. WHOO!!

So anyone else out there fasting anything for 30 or 40 days? If so what? How do you feel GOD working in you during this time? Feel free to share..

Off to bed!! LOVE TO YOU ALL!!

* PS.. my last day of the fast is April 23.. but I'm thinking this might go on a bit longer the way I'm digging those GOD moments :) what ya think?

Can't Resist sharing..

2011-02-22T22:30:00.003-06:00

I have to say.. I Just love my church!! Last nite we had our Cultivate Her meeting.. We've started a new thing where we meet every other Monday nite... and let me tell you I love it..For one it gets me out of the house, and two I am able to connect with women from different areas of life.. I love all the friends I have made & continue to make from Cultivate Her..

Last Nite we reviewed where we were at from our spiritual gifts Assessment.. & Honestly I was very surprised at what I learned about myself.. I have 5 spiritual gifts.. they are..

Administration
Exhortation
Pastor
Music
Teacher.

And i learned that I am Influencing, Inspiring, Steady & Stable... Pretty awesome stuff if you ask me..

But I would have to say the highlight of the night was this little video that they shared of a little girl.. telling us the story of Jonah.,.. in her own cute way... so after watching it.. and literally dying of laughter... I have to share it with you..

Hope that you enjoyed it.. and that it made your nite.. I know it made mine..

In his love,

NEW DESIGN,, FINALLY

2011-02-16T07:00:00.000-06:00

After some tweeking & alot of work & alot of thought I give to you the new blog design... Hope you all enjoy it as much as I do.. feel free to let me know if your having any issues with the blog!!

Thanks ya'll!

I would do it all over again...

2011-02-14T22:18:00.003-06:00

I'll have to just be honest & admit..Today was hard.. it didnt actually suck... it was just hard... today was our 2 year wedding anniversary.. And the fact that James isn't here.. just made it a very rough day for me.. but as I was at work..(which was a good thing.. since that helped me stay busy) I got to thinking & reflecting on my life over the last 2 years..

I would have to say as hard as life has been without James.. its by GOD's Grace & strength alone that I've been able to make it this far.. but the love, laughter & wisdom that James constantly poured into my life for nearly 4 years.. was totally worth it...and every ounce of pain I face today because I miss him so bad.. its worth it too..

James taught me so many things..He taught me to be strong... to be brave when your faced with challenges.. He taught me to laugh... life just isn't worth living unless your willing to laugh often.. and most of all he taught me to love deeply.. like everyday might be your last.. that the words that need to be spoken more then anything are 3 simple words.. "I LOVE YOU"

Its because of him I am who I am today.. Its because of those 4 years that GOD allowed us to share that I'm where I am at today... my heart is thankful.. my mind filled with so many memories.. and my heart so full of love for the man I love...

So on this Valentines Day & Anniversary.. I say to my sweet James in heaven.. I love you.. I miss you... And if I had to do it all over again... I totally would.. because you are so worth it.

Happy Anniversary my love...
with love from your Bride

Praying for Kate McRae

2011-02-01T23:06:00.003-06:00

For those of you who dont follow the story of sweet 7 year old Kate McRae I want to introduce you to her.. She was diagnosed with a brain tumor back in 2009... just a couple months before James went to be with Jesus... We heard about her story..prayed for this sweet little girl.. and over the last year & half I've checked in periodically on her caring bridge page... Things as of late had been hopeful that they had beat the cancer.. then today they had a MRI which showed new spots... Please Please dear friends will you please storm the gates of heaven for this little girl... that these spots are not cancer.. that they will disappear?? That the doctors will witness a miracle here??

If you would like to read her story her caring bridge site here

Please go read her story.. go leave her a comment.. but most of all please please pray for her.. My heart simply just breaks for her...

In his Love,

under construction

2011-01-31T22:07:00.002-06:00

This is one of those posts i wish i had a caution symbol or something like that... yes you read the title of that right.. this blog is under construction..working on redoing the blog.. and working on a series of new posts... its 2011.. its time for me to get back into my writing... so please bare with me.. oh and if you dont mind.. would you let me know how the blog works.. if links arent working or whatnot? this will be extremely helpful in the next 24 hours as I rearrange stuff on the blog...

THANKS for your patience guys!!

Much Love,

New Year, New Me

2011-01-14T22:00:00.007-06:00

So here we are 14 days into 2011... how's it been going for you all? Honestly on this end I don't think its slowed down all that much.. but then again we got hit by the snowstorm of 2011.. yep.. haven't been anywhere in the evenings for the past week... how's that for slowing down a bit?

2011.. a new year.. a time for new beginnings.. or so I hope its a time for new beginnings... at the same time I can honestly say that I'm excited & nervous to see where this new year will take me.. what does my Father in heaven have in store for me... I choose to cling to Jeremiah 29:11 when I think about what this year holds & cling to the fact that he's got a plan for me... problem is.. gotta be patient & let him work in me & allow him to show me in HIS time where he wants me to go.

So in anticipation of what this new year holds for me.. right before Christmas I went ahead & got a new hair cut.. (which I adore!!) & asked a good friend of mine at church if she was willing to give her photography skills a boost & take some photos of me... Mainly I wanted to do this as a Christmas Present for my family since I really haven't taken my picture much since James died..but I also wanted to remind myself to live.. to move forward.. to make new memories & not be afraid to..

So I thought I would share a few of my favorites from the Photoshoot.. Ashley, Thank you so much Girl for taking these pictures.. you have so much Talent!!

Hope you enjoy the photos as much as I do.. I should get off of here & try to complete my Bible in 90 Days homework.. I am attempting to do this reading plan once again. since I didn't graduate last time.. SO Trying my hardest to stay caught up & I plan to Graduate this time around!!

Let me know how 2011 is turning out for you so far!! Much Love to you all!!

Merry Christmas To you & Yours!

2010-12-25T06:00:00.003-06:00

I lay here all excited like a little girl on Christmas Morning.. waiting.. just waiting for mom & dad to wake up..its almost 6am & I had braved Sleet, Snow & Black Ice last night just so me, Dino & Taco wouldn't be alone on Christmas Morning.. But the thing that's most exciting about this morning? waiting for them to wake up so they can open those presents I worked hard to keep under wraps for the last 4 weeks.. And I can't Help but wonder how God Felt while he was waiting to see how we would accept his Son Jesus... He probably had that same excitement!! THANK YOU JESUS for being the Best Christmas Present EVER!! & Happy Birthday!

As I lay here I also reflect on the past Year.. moving forward, getting plugged in again.. & getting involved in Ministry again.. I have to admit.. its been a blessed year!

I would have to say moving forward & getting plugged in again wasn't as easy as I make it out to be..There are still days where I miss James so much that sometimes I just feel its easier to be alone & just cry... and yes there has been many a time this year that I've done just that.. But as the year has gone on I've found that its actually better to reach out & get involved.. Thanks CROSSPOINT & CP STRETCH for helping me do that & for helping me know that I am truly NOT Alone in this Journey... as for getting involved in ministry again.. Thank you Carpenter's House Church for allowing me to plug in & Serve & love on those babies every Sunday Morning..

So...I lay here excited to spend Christmas with my family... and I have to admit.. I'm excited to see what 2011 brings...as much as I think this year has flown by (anyone else feel that way?) I believe even better things are coming in 2011... IN JESUS NAME!...

And while I'm yaking on & on about 2011.. I plan on being a better blogger.. sorry I've not updated lately.. but please know that I keep all of you in my Heart & in my prayers..I wish you & yours a very MERRY CHRISTMAS!! And a Happy New Year! ( I'll save that for another post HUH?) LOL.. Better go make some Coffee so Mom & Dad will wake up!!

Much love to you,

I wear them close to my heart

2010-10-27T20:31:00.004-05:00

First of all I would like to apologize for my lack of blogging.... these days I find myself busy... but I guess I have to admit.. as I sit here to type this.. its not been easy these last few days.. but the real reason for these ROUGH days i'll have to honestly blame them on the fact that the holidays are fast approaching...James Loved the holidays... he loved Thanksgiving & Christmas... maybe it had something to do with the fact that he LOVED his mama's cooking...but deep down inside it was because he loved to be with his family... Thanksgiving & Christmas were the 2 times of the year that the whole extended family got together at mama's house.. I look forward to these days as well for the same reason.. but now that James is with Jesus.. just simply put..ITS NOT THE SAME...

The past 14 months.. yes i said it.. its been 14 months since he went to heaven (can you believe how fast time has flown by since then?) have been a Journey... a Journey that only God himself can be taking me on.. even though I still don't understand the reasons behind why he's chosen me to take this journey I cling to the fact that he's GOOD.. he's weaving a beautiful story out of my messy life.. and i'm thankful that he's turning the ashes into beauty..

For awhile now I've been considering getting rebaptised.. as a way of proclaiming that from now on in this NEW life that I have.. I Plan on living sold out for Christ...in every possible way..so what better way to do this by asking my Brother Blake Bergstrom to play a part in that... He & his family have been walking thru this journey with me for the last year & I am so thankful that I can call him Brother & friend.. So on October 3rd with my mom present I got rebaptised by my Brother Blake at Crosspoint Community Church... I do have a video.. but my mom has it & I've not had a chance to get it from her yet.. but as soon as I get it.. I'll post it here for you all to see!!

The second new thing that has happened... which was hard to do but I knew that there was gonna come a time to do so.. but if you haven't been following me on twitter you probably dont know that I've almost came close to losing my wedding rings a month or so ago.. due to the weight I lost.. but honestly I'm not really ready to part with my rings just yet.. so after thinking about it.. I've bought a locket & a necklace.. and wear the rings with the locket.. inside the locket is a picture of me & James on our wedding day... and no.. i'm not dating... at least not yet... I've considered it.. but I feel like at this point in this Journey God is calling me to simply just BE for now... and until I can honestly say I'm content with being alone..I don't think a relationship of that sort would be wise right now.. (feel free to share your thoughts on that with me) But I can honestly tell you that I have been praying that If its GOD's will that he place the right man in my life should I remarry...

so for now.. I cling to Christ.. because he is my everything.. I cling to the promise that he has GOOD plans for my life..
And I push forward knowing that James is never far from my mind or my heart... so for now.. I wear them close to my heart..

Thanks for listening to me.. & I love you all!

Pray for Blake!!!

2010-09-22T20:06:00.004-05:00

So for those of you who have been following my blog in the past year you probably know who Blake Bergstrom is... but for those of you who are just joining me on my journey let me introduce you to my big brother.. well okay hes not really my big brother.. hes a dear friend I've come to look up to as if he was my big brother & he also so happens to be one of my pastors...but for those of you who don't know Blake let me fill ya in on whats going on.. you see about a week and half ago he flew out to Africa so he could do a Hope Climb for a family.. (single mom & 2 teenage girls) who lost everything in the flood.. so Blake is climbing Mt. Kilimanjaro to raise money for them... he's been able to tweet from his GPS thing.. but that's about it.. but as far as I can understand the next couple days are gonna be the hardest of the climb... so if you don't mind me asking.. will you please keep Blake in your prayers for a safe & healthy climb.. & that he makes it home safely..?

if you would like to follow his journey got to his blog..please please leave him some encouragement.. i know he needs it.. plus we have a little surprise there for him on his blog..so be sure to check it out..

thanks you all.. i know i can count on my prayer warriors out there!!!

GOD BLESS YOU ALL!

The Butterfly Effect

2010-09-09T23:39:00.003-05:00

Do you ever wonder how much of an impact you actually made on others? or do you just think that your ordinary everyday actions go unnoticed? If that's you then you need to read Andy Andrews new book The Butterfly Effect..

This book was a quick read.. had it done within 30 minutes.. but at the same time.. I was given a mind blowing History lesson.. in this book Andy talks about how the tiniest of actions that we take in our life can effect Millions of people..(and more) He talks about how one mans actions actually won the war at Gettysburg.. If he hadnt won that war then the United States of America wouldn't exist.. wow... who would have thought...

You see the thing is about the Butterfly Effect..it all starts with the first movement...the first touch.. the first spoken word.. the first hand that you lend to that person in need.. it all starts with one simple little action that you take in your EVERYDAY life..

If a farmer from Missouri could be responsible for Norman Borlaug making it where crops can grow in the most harshest of conditions.. thus saving millions of lives because of this.. think about this... the next time you hug a child.. you could be the reason that child becomes successful in life.. the next time you lend a hand to a person in need.. you could be the start of a sweeping movement across the nation.. or the next you offer to forgive instead of holding it in.. you could be the reason that person experiences what Grace is...

You.. everything you do... it all matters...just read this book.. you'll see what I mean..

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookSneeze.com book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

Permission to Speak Freely

2010-09-07T00:07:00.007-05:00

For those of you who Don't follow my friend Anne Jackson you need to.. she wrote this incredible book in which I've gotten to see her blog posts transform into a beautiful book that tells her story.. and this is my review.

Have you ever had something that you wanted to say in church or in public for that matter but you couldn't say it because fear was holding you back? or you couldn't speak it because certain people in the church were holding you back? or simply because you were afraid of being alone.. afraid that people wouldn't care about you. or afraid that they would think your not good enough. If that is you, then You need to RUN to the nearest christian book store & buy a copy of "Permission to Speak Freely"

I've found this book to be an incredible inspiration to what this world & what our churches so desperetly need is a body of people that are willing to create Sanctuary in our churches so broken people can come out & speak about the brokeness in them.. I guess one of the questions I mulled over & over in my mind as I was starting to read this book was "Why do our churches silence people from speaking aloud their fears & failures?" "why do pastors hold leaders back from speaking on important topics like SEX & Porn?" "Why do churches turn away people who are broken & in need of love & grace?"

As I read the book I looked back at all the different churches I attended throughout my life..and yes i attended quite a few of them growing up because we moved quite a bit. and there was really only one time I remember my parents debating or talking about the fact that a guest pastor had came in to speak & he talked about SEX.. I was about 15 or 16 then & really don't remember what my parents said about it but what from what i could understand.. it made alot of people.. UNCOMFORTABLE..

In today's day & society we do need more pastors & churches that are going to be open & honest about the problems that MEN & WOMEN face.. We need church leaders & bodies in the church that are willing to reach the broken & hurting.. we need to step out of what we are comfortable with & get our hands dirty (so to speak) and start reaching out to those who are alone.. those who feel hopeless and those who feel tired & weary of the day to day struggle of facing depression.

I loved how Anne describes a great need of COMMUNITY in our churches today.. the great need of people who are wanting to stand up & say "ME Too" to open up their hearts to healing.. I loved the way she was able to tell us her story & be so open & honest about it all even in the midst of her healing.. but Anne did something different.. instead of sitting back & being silent about her struggles.. she was honest & opened up to share the most painful times of her life with us.. and something tells me that there are more people out there like her that need to be heard...

So what do you guys say? Anne gave us a glimpse of what the true church looks like.. question is.. are we willing to push traditions & our quest for being better then others aside & open up & allow people find true sanctuary & help them Heal? Are we willing to stand up & speak? If so.. I believe its time!

Its time to stand up & speak.. after all.. you've been given permission to speak freely..

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookSneeze.com book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

Fearless

2010-09-02T12:44:00.002-05:00

What is the one thing you fear the most? Where you will live? How long your Job will hold out? What you’ll have for food in the next meal? Are these your most common fears? Or perhaps you have a fear of flying. Or Riding horses. Or Riding a boat. Fears that make it difficult to live a basic every day life… but what if I told you that you had no reason to fear?

Max Lucado’s book Fearless touches just on that. What if I told you it was possible to live life without Fear? What if I told you it was possible to life FEARLESSLY…

I admit. The biggest Fear I had before my husband died was being alone. Then James died. But then I realized that my fear was just what it was. A FEAR. Since James died friends & family who love & support me have surrounded me. I’ve learned more of what the meaning of trust is.

Max’s book Fearless touches on this. Jesus taught basically that we shouldn’t fear. It’s the one thing he teaches the most. He constantly was telling his disciples & his followers by speaking about not being afraid more than 21 times in the bible. If Jesus spoke about it that much then he must have been pretty serious about it.

Max’s book Fearless touches on the gospels in which Jesus teaches his disciples about fear & about prayer. Even Jesus was afraid before he got nailed on the cross. But what did he do. He prayed.

One of my favorite parts about Fearless is the 8 worry stoppers that Max lists in his book.

1.) Pray First

2.) Slow Down. Take it to Jesus & State it Clearly

3.) Act on it. Become a worry-slapper

4.) Compile a worry list. & Review them.

5.) Evaluate your worry categories

6.) Focus on daily. I LOVE THIS PART. GOD meets daily needs daily. So true.

7.) Unleash a worry army by sharing your fears with a few loved ones & have them pray with & for you

8.) Let GOD be enough. After all he is your heavenly father.

So is that you today? Do you have a boatload of fears that are keeping you back from living the life GOD intended you to live? If that’s you? Try the 8 worry stoppers. Better yet. Go to a bookstore near you & buy & read Fearless for yourself...

Lets all put that fire of Fear out & live the life GOD intended us to.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookSneeze.com book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

Unconventional

2010-08-26T22:53:00.004-05:00

Have any of you heard of the book that my friend J.J. Hebert Wrote? Unconventional?? If you haven't I'm giving you a glimpse of what the book is about.. and why I think you should read it..so my friends.. here is my book review for UNCONVENTIONAL By J.J Hebert

“The Greatest and most inspiring achievements are not produced by those who conform to society’s idea of normal, but by those who courageously adopt the unconventional”

The book starts and ends with this statement… but at the same time if you really think about it…its so very true… Unconventional is about a young man who has a passion to write… He loves to write so much that he doesn’t give up on his dream to be a published author even thou people were skeptical of his dreams. They all figured that because he was a janitor that he wouldn’t become a published author. They doubted that he was capable of even writing anything worth reading. But James Frost knew better. He knew what his characters could do…he knew what his story was about. & He knew that his writing skills were great… but he just wished everyone else would see that. He wished everyone would just look beyond the fact that he scrubbed toilets & cleaned up after a bunch of children till late into the evening.

But things start changing for James… he falls in love with a girl… finds out what true love is really about. Even in the midst of rejections that he receives from publishers. In the awakening of his love for Leigh he finds the love of Christ as well. He learns to let go of some fear & emotional battles that were affecting him in negative ways. As soon as he lets go of that…His dreams come true…

There were some areas in the book that I was able to see myself in based on some experiences I had faced in my own life. What I loved the most was the fact that the book was focused on one thing… DON’T LET GO OF YOUR DREAMS.

No matter what other people may say or how they may feel about you pursuing your dreams don’t let them stop you. Don’t conform to the conventional. Or in other words don’t conform to what the world wants you to be… after all isn’t that one of our instructions in the bible. ( And be not conformed to this world: but ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good ,and acceptable, ane perfect will of GOD) Romans 12:2

So Are you ready to conform to the Unconventional? Are you ready to Dare to dream? If you are.. RUN to the nearest bookstore or hop online & buy UNCONVENTIONAL You won’t be disappointed. I promise!!

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the Author at No Charge. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

New Memories Made...

2010-08-10T23:00:00.015-05:00

James. I love & Miss You

So today is the One Year Anniversary of James's passing... what a bittersweet day... I'll be honest to say that the last couple days leading up to today haven't been easy.. At all..alot of that is because going thru the funeral for Mike.. lead to all those Memories of the night I found James.. all those memories that I've been trying to block out so to speak have been flooding back into the forefront of my mind..its been causing me to lose sleep... and be a bit more emotional (so for those of you who have seen me break down.. I'm sorry) but I can say that I am so thankful to all of you who have called.. Emailed.. texted.. DM'd me on Twitter.. visited with me.. I can honestly say that I have the best Community around me.. THE BEST!! Its because of your prayers & support that I've managed to make it through today... THANK YOU JESUS for being my Strength..

So I thought I would share with you how I spent today... and thought I would share some pictures with you all..So I started it by going to the cemetery...and I bought him some roses...his favorite..

I stopped to see his Mom for a few minutes before I had to drive to Nashville to go see my audiologist... for those of you who don't follow me on twitter.. you kinda missed the ~~excitement~~ on Monday..you see it started around Christmas when I got this puppy named TIMMY.. and then Monday the little booger got behind my ear... took my implant off of my ear without me knowing it.. and ATE IT...and this is what I got left with..

The implant.. all the pieces I found anyways

Soooo I had to go to Nashville & get a loaner implant.. and will use that until my behind the ear implant is fixed.. and then hopefully soon i'll be able to upgrade to the Nucleus 5 implant which is Waterproof!!

Then I stopped at Crosspoint to talk to Ryan Bult for a few mins then headed home to let my dogs out..and get my gear ready for our Wii bowling party in memory of James...

I can honestly say that I have the best Small group in the world (hmm anyone else feel that way??) I had emailed my group leader & told her that I wanted to do something fun... Something that we could do to keep my mind off the memories that keep floating around my head.. SO.. ya'll know that James loved Wii Bowling.. So what better way then to do something in memory of him by having a Wii party.. so we made pizza.. had some cake because Liz released her second book..( and its so GREAT.. on the last chapter right now!!) & just had some fun & created some new memories...so I took my Camera..& captured some memories.. :)

Liz's New Book.. Go Buy it :)

We need Clark to Cut the Pizza.. He's Strong :)

Clark Reading Liz's Book.. How ya like it Clark?

Renee telling all her stories Abt her trip to FL

Micah. & Our sweet Author Liz :)

He was praying.. but it wasnt helping his game :)

Having some Girl time.. Love these Girls :)

AND LASTLY

He lives in my heart Forever..

James, its hard for me to even believe that a year has passed since you went to be with JESUS.. As much as I miss you.. I am so thankful for the healing that you have received. I am so thankful that you are there waiting for me & getting ready for my homecoming as well.. The days just aren't the same without you thou.. But I know that your spirit lives on in me.. & that I'm never truly alone.. Thank you my love... for the amazing four years you gave me.. for the lessons you taught & the love you gave...its because of you I am who I am today... ENJOY Heaven.. & know that I love you... always & forever... ALL my love,

The Persistent Widow

2010-08-02T23:45:00.003-05:00

Okay you guys are gonna love this.. I mean I do & honestly.. a day later.. still cant wrap my mind around it… I just told you guys on Thursday that in my prayer life.. I honestly have been trying to keep an open ear out to listen carefully to what GOD is telling me..

I think that GOD may be up to something.. or either he’s using my pastors to get to me??… PETE? BLAKE? SPENCE? ☺

Anyways… so most of you who know me know that I do attend 2 different churches.. I attend The Carpenter's House here in Murfreesboro which is only a 5 mile trip from my house… and then on Sunday evenings since we don’t have evening service.. I make the 30 minute trip to Nashville to attend Crosspoint Community Church… both churches have been my family since the passing of my sweet husband last August.

So Pastor Spence Creasy gets to preaching yesterday morning about the Persistent Widow.. For those of you who have never read this Parable here it is..

Luke 18: 1-8
1And he spake a parable unto them to this end, that men ought always to pray, and not to faint; 2Saying, There was in a city a judge, which feared not God, neither regarded man: 3And there was a widow in that city; and she came unto him, saying, Avenge me of mine adversary. 4And he would not for a while: but afterward he said within himself, Though I fear not God, nor regard man; 5Yet because this widow troubleth me, I will avenge her, lest by her continual coming she weary me. 6And the Lord said, Hear what the unjust judge saith. 7And shall not God avenge his own elect, which cry day and night unto him, though he bear long with them? 8I tell you that he will avenge them speedily. Nevertheless when the Son of man cometh, shall he find faith on the earth?

So pretty much Pastor Spence was talking about being persistent in prayer.. asking us where our real security laid.. (I got 2 pages of notes in my journal from this sermon) and telling us to GIVE GOD ALL WE HAVE WHEN WE PRAY.. pretty simple huh?

So I go home… spend time with my oldest Stepson & his wife & kids… then I go to Crosspoint for the 6pm service…

Blake Bergstrom is up introducing the series…so I grab my program for the service and flip it over to the notes part of it where the scripture that Pete (or whoever is preaching) will be reading from.. and the title has me floored… THE PERSISTENT WIDOW.. with the same exact scripture text that Pastor Spence preached from… ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!?

So I take more notes from Pete Wilson’s Sermon… one of my favorites statements that he made last night was this…” you cannot have true intimacy without complete truth”

Let me say that one more time just in case you didn’t catch it… “YOU CANNOT HAVE TRUE INTIMACY WITHOUT COMPLETE TRUTH”
Wow…so very true..

But mostly Pete talks about being constant in prayer…encouraging those who struggled with their prayer life to keep praying to keep being persistent.

All I could think as I processed both sermons was okay GOD your talking.. I hear you BIG TIME…

When you don’t think GOD is listening… keep praying.. when you don’t think your prayers are being answered.. keep praying.. when you feel your whole world is falling apart and nothing you do will fix it.. Keep praying.. when you feel alone.. Keep Praying..

1 Thessalonians 5:17
Pray without ceasing.

So all I can say tonight as I continue to wonder at what GOD is doing in my life..
PRAY.. don’t give up..

When God Speaks.. you better listen..

2010-07-29T23:00:00.002-05:00

In the past 11 months I can honestly say that my relationship with God has changed so much…in that I mean my relationship with GOD has changed for the GOOD… I’m so hungry for GOD…

Since James died I can honestly say that I’ve learned to be more dependant on God for things in my life…in each & every area of my life… whether it be finances… my job… my family… my health… I know deep down in my heart that GOD is completely in control..

In January of this year my church began to start the bible in a year reading… I’ll admit.. I kinda got a late start with it… like a month late start… but there was something about reading 4 different chapters of the bible all at once that just made it hard to focus…and I didn’t feel that what I was reading was sticking to me like I wanted it to…I wanted to soak up the word so bad.. but I also wanted it to stick with me so I would be able to call on it in times when I would need it… So… after trying that for a few months… and having a hard time staying on track.. I found out that they were doing the Bible in 90 Days Challenge at momtoolbox.com… so I signed up for that… I was 5 days late ☺ was a little behind then got caught up… then got behind again and was just about caught up when My brother in law Mike passed away.. honestly.. still haven’t caught up.. but I’ll be honest when I say that what I am reading is really sticking with me.. and I’m learning so much.. will I get caught up at this point.. I SURE HOPE SO.. Praying I do as well…

My prayer life has changed as well…. I am constantly trying to keep my ears open to what GOD may be telling me.. and believe me… I’ve discovered that GOD talks to me in lots & lots of different ways.. but I’ve also discovered that the hardest part at times is the listening… the part where I have to “be still & know that he is GOD” I think we all struggle with this.. RIGHT?

So then last nite.. I was home… and I needed to mow the yard… James had bought this big commercial mower a couple years ago.. and let me tell you.. its FUN to mow with this thing… takes half the time it would with a push mower… Before James died Mowing was one of the things that he was still able to do.. especially since all it required of him was to get on it.. and sit there… no getting up & down.. no walking.. no lifting anything.. all he did was sit.. and mow… One day I asked him.. why do you like mowing so much? His answer really didn’t catch me off guard… but it helped me see a glimpse of what life was like for my husband since he had to stay home A LOT… especially since I worked.. this is what he replied with.. “ I love mowing so much because I can be around what God Created… and I can spend some time listening to what he’s wanting to tell me..” So my husband used his mowing time as “GOD TIME” Pretty cool huh?

Since James died.. I’ve taken over the mowing… on occasion my stepsons will come over and do it for me.. along with the weed eating & bush trimming… but me wanting to be strong in this Journey in my life.. I want to be able to do it myself… So.. I’ve taken after my husband & began to use my MOW TIME.. as GOD TIME as well.. So what I’ve been doing is each time I mow.. I take in my surroundings.. I occasionally will mow with my iPod on.. so I can have some worship music flowing… I begin to mow.. and begin to pray for my family.. my work.. my church.. then I take time to pray for each neighbor who loves close to me individually.. the neighbors who live right next to me are a newlywed couple who just recently had a baby right before Christmas…I begin to pray for J&A as I mowed close to their house.. I had noticed that their yard kinda needed to be mowed too.. I knew that both J & A worked quite a bit.. plus add a baby into the mix..life had to be crazy.. so I prayed for both of them and as I’m getting close to being done with my yard I get the urge to mow theirs as well…”LORD I don’t want to make them mad by mowing their yard.. surely you don’t want me to mow it..” and clear as a bell I can hear the reply.. “MOW IT..”

So after debating for a minute I finally get to mowing their yard…praying for J & A & their little guy the whole time I did so.. I finish mowing, weed eating… and even swept their driveway… put my stuff up.. and went inside..

It wasn’t until today right before lunch that I get a text message from J… “HEY,,hmm by any chance did you mow my yard for me?” I texted him back & admitted that it had been me that mowed for him.. the next text he sent me blew me away… in a sense I kinda braced myself for him to be upset about me mowing his yard but what I got was the complete opposite.. “hey I really appreciate you doing that… A is in the hospital.. and I’ve just not had time to get to it… since its just me & the Little guy right now”

First thing… I had no clue that A was in the hospital.. honestly I thought that the reason I haven’t seen her car was because she was working a lot.. Second thing… GOD knew what J needed.. with A being in the hospital and having to take care of the baby by himself things were just crazy for him…

Did I learn a lesson from my obedience.. yes I certainly did.. that when you least expect it.. GOD can be doing something Big from something so small…

Please Join me in prayer for A as she is in the hospital.. GOD knows what she’s dealing with & knows what J & A need during this season in their life.. Pray for a speedy recovery so Mom can be back home with her baby.. and pray that J & A will experience the love of Christ in ways they have never experienced before..

SO.. all I can say is when GOD Speaks.. you better listen… because BIG things can come from something that seem so small to you..

LORD, THANK YOU for allowing me to be obedient to your voice.. Thank you for the opportunity to share your love with a family that needs you…Please be with J & A.. help A with the issues she is having.. help her see your love & come to know you during this time… Be with J as he balances work & baby as A is recovering.. Give this family strength..
Thank you for the lesson that I learned from this…
In your precious son’s Jesus name I pray..
AMEN

We will miss you Mike

2010-07-20T23:06:00.003-05:00

James & His Brother Mike

Here i am.. laying in bed.. another sleepless night looms before me... my mind tries to wrap around the news I got at 6 45 tonight... tries to wrap around the text message that my niece sent me... "Uncle Mike died today"...I was floored... the last thing I wanted to do was attend another funeral especially 3 weeks before the 1 year anniversary of my Sweet Husbands death... I had just attended a funeral for a friend & coworker that died a week ago (she was 23)... and was still trying to process that.. 2 funerals to attend.. in 2 weeks time..

"Lord, what are you doing?" tends to be the question I have going through my mind the most... I know that theres a time to be born.. & a time to die... but my mind trends to be wrapped around the "why's" at the moment.

Part of me can't get over the shock.. I knew to expect it with Mike's health not being so well... Honestly.. even James thought his brother would have went on before him... he was in that bad of shape... COPD.. Heart Attacks.. Pacemaker..

But what my mind can't wrap around is the pain my Mother in law is facing... We've had 4 deaths in our family in the 3 years... We lost James's Dad in June 08.. His Grandma in Feb 09 just 3 weeks after we got married.. then we lost my Husband in August 09.. and now Mike.. I can't imagine.. losing your Husband, Mom & 2 Sons all within 3 years...

I did talk to my Mother in Law tonight.. she told me what happened.. She was there when Mike fell over with the heart attack & died... I can't imagine...She watched her husband take his last breath.. and watched her middle son die in front of her... I JUST CAN'T IMAGINE...

The pain & grief start to consume me again.. especially knowing how close this is to James's Death Anniversary... I pray for peace.. pray for direction for our family as we make funeral arrangements tomorrow.. but honestly... the number one question the floats around in my mind is "Did he know Christ?" last I talked to him he said he did... and I pray that was true..

SO I lay here in bed.. Trying to wrap my mind on the last year I've had.. I let the tears flow.. knowing that my Savior has his loving arms wrapped tightly around me as I continue to walk this road of grief.. I continue to run in into his arms.. longing to be comforted by his love & his grace..

So as I lay here tonight... all I can think is... "We Will Miss you Mike"

Happy Birthday My Love

2010-05-10T19:05:00.000-05:00

So today is my beloved's birthday...and it doesn't seem right to go thru the day without him.. it doesn't seem right to wake up and he's not here to kiss awake and sing "Happy Birthday" to.. He's not here to text message to let him know that I think hes the most wonderful person on the planet & that I love the fact that God made him & allowed me to have him him my life..

I miss the planning & scheming to surprise him with a great birthday party & finding him just the right gift.. I miss seeing his eyes light up as I bring the cake in & wondering what he was wishing for....Today was hard... the day was too quiet as I got ready for work... i woke up and placed my hand on his pillow... and started singing anyways... "Happy Birthday" Closed my eyes and tried to imagine what kind of celebration he might be having in Heaven.. what it would be like to be able to celebrate with the author of life....to celebrate with the creator of the universe.. How Grand that will be!!
So I went to work.. and managed to keep myself together for the most part..I only lost it during my first break...where i managed to fall apart in my car... and then get myself back together...

so during lunch I came up with a great idea...to get some balloons to release in honor of him.. so I got some Red (our favorite color) balloons... and as soon as i got home...i released all 15 balloons... I talked to James for a bit... told him I loved him... and released the balloons into the sky..

James, I love you & miss you more & more each day...i wish that you were still here with me.. but I can't imagine the fun & the life that you have in Heaven now... All I know is the life you have now is the life that we all long for... and will one day get to share alongside you... I can't imagine the celebration you got to have today with our creator & I so wish you could be here telling me about your day...But I trust that it was great... and that you had the time of your life today on your birthday... I love you.. & can't wait for your arms to be wrapped around me again...but until then know that your always on my mind & live on in my heart..I send all my Love to you & pray that your well & enjoying Heaven... HAPPY BIRTHDAY ...

Heart breaks for Nashville.. Flood 2010

2010-05-04T22:16:00.014-05:00

As many of you know.. Nashville & the surrounding areas have been affected by a flood... a flood so bad that downtown Nashville was underwater.. including some pretty historical buildings such as Grand Old Opry Hotel.. all this just after 2 days of rain.. NON STOP RAIN.. It all started with the storm on Saturday.. it had been raining all morning.. by the time I had to leave for work..my front & back yards were already starting to flood... the roads were still driveable.. and the watches were supposed to be called off by 4pm.. so I figured if i went to work.. everything would be okay by 4 and I would be able to breathe till I got off work at 11pm..
But I was sooo wrong... just half an hour after i arrive at work.. we go on lock-down because of funnel clouds being spotted...we get thru one lock-down and then 15 minutes later.. go on lock-down AGAIN...after this one...I get to take a break & my neighbor calls me saying that my driveway is starting to get flooded & the water was coming up the sliding of the house.I meet with my managers & tell them the situation.. & leave work 5 hours early..to find my yard like this..

The water got all the way to the ramp of my mini barn.
and some water did get into the garage... causing one box of books to get soaked.. but no fear.. they are slowly drying in the other bedroom! :)

So yesterday & this morning I drove around the block to see what other damage had been done.. for those of you who don't know where I live.. I live about 30 miles southeast of Nashville.. In Murfreesboro...So anyways.. I drove around the block.. to find this...

My heart is so heavy for those that have lost everything that they own.. but my heart is hopeful at the same time because as the clean up continues I see a sense of community.. I see my pastor Pete Wilson & my church Crosspoint Community Church being vessels that are allowing God to use them to heal a broken city.. GOD working thru them to heal broken people... people who have lost everything.. their homes.. their cars.. their possessions.. they are reaching out to the community & showing them the love of Christ...I'm thankful for Carpenter's House Church.. my home church here in Murfreesboro.. as they open the doors for donations & help reach out to others in need... We are the body... & we're gonna get through this NASHVILLE...

*For those of you who want to volunteer your time.. Please please meet with Pete at Crosspoint Bellevue campus.. you can go to www.Crosspoint.tv for info directions.. and see other ways that you can help... As for me.. since I have to work.. i'll be volunteering my time on my days off.. so.. COME ON PEOPLE.. Lets help NASHVILLE!!*

In his LOVE,

I got a NEW CAR!

2010-04-13T23:00:00.000-05:00

PRAISE BE TO GOD.. FOR HE DESERVES ALL THE GLORY..

So the time has came... I needed to get a reliable vehicle.. I was getting to the point where I worried if my suv would get me where I had to be.. and on top of all that... on my days off.. I was unable to go anywhere due to the fact that I was scared the SUV would quit on me to & from...so I would stay home.. alone.. which really wasn't that bad.. because I have the dogs here to keep me entertained.. and I finally got Direct TV installed so i can DVR my favorite shows while I work & play catch up on my days off..But then work started giving me 2-3 day weekends.. and I had had enough.. I was ready to break free & try to get out & enjoy life..so.. with the aid for my wonderful friend Erika..whom I am so blessed to have living right next door to me.. I finally got out.. and we went car shopping!!

So... this is what I have been up too.. I just hope & pray that James is proud of me for finally taking this step & doing something big...we had began making plans to do this before he died..& after spending $1,000 on car repair on the SUV.. it was finally time to take a leap of faith... and get something new.. So. No more Thunderbird.. and No more gas guzzling SUV to fork out the money on too.. I was spending nearly $50 a week on gas.. with my new car.. i spend about $25..

So here it is.. my NEW "used" 2009 Toyota Corolla.. & if I might say.. its pretty nice.. I love the color.. & love the way it rides.. best part about the whole thing.. its got a aux plug for my Ipod..that's a must nowadays!!

Lord,

You said you would supply my needs according to your riches in Glory.. Thank you Lord.. for supplying me with a dependable vehicle that I can trust to help me get where I have to go..Thank you for blessing me with this wonderful vehicle.. & thank you for wonderful friends who are helpful & are close by...

In your name I pray..
AMEN

One last thing.. so sorry for not updating sooner.. things have been crazy here.. I have some Giants that I am facing that I cannot discuss here.. so your prayers would be appreciated.. thank you all once again for your constant love, support & your comments that help me along the way on this journey.. I plan to hopefully get back into blogging a bit more soon..& have some posts that have been on my mind lately..which I have been praying over as I write them out.. but just am not ready to hit the "publish" button yet..

So.. join me in Thanking GOD for his wonderful blessings..May God truly bless each of you...

Much Love to you all..

Happy Anniversary My Love

2010-02-14T07:00:00.001-06:00

So.. Today is our anniversary.. Kinda sucks thou because James isn't here in body to celebrate. But Honestly?? i can't Imagine the celebration he's having in Heaven... I hope you all enjoy it.. and Enjoy the music.. "I will Be Here" By Steven Curtis Chapman was our wedding song..

James.. I love & Miss you.. Happy Anniversary honey.. Praying that the celebration your having in Heaven is so much more grand then the small one I had here at home... I love you baby.. & I miss you soo much..

LOVE ALWAYS.. Your ANGEL FOREVER..

Doing my Best & letting God do the Rest..

2010-02-03T00:00:00.002-06:00

The start of the year has been flying by... 5 1/2 months have passed since my sweet husband entered into the gates of heaven & into eternal life.. 5 1/2 months of Relearning once again how to survive this world alone.. 5 1/2 months of making decisions that I would always discuss with my best friend & companion before making a final decision.. Now again after being with James for 4 years I face some fear... some uncertainty..and have some anxiety of what the future holds for me & my Life..

But that's the reason GOD is GOD and I am not right?

So i sit down to think about what I want out of life...first and foremost I want more than anything to do whatever it is that God is calling me to do.. I want his will to be first in my life. I want him to mold me into the person that he's designed me to be..

Secondly. I want to live life deeply.. I want to savor each moment of this life that God has given me..I want to grow deeper in my relationships with my family & my friends.. I want to give more freely in my relationships & allow my heart to be open as those relationships grow deeper..

Third, I want to grow deeper in love with God.. I want to soak in as much of him as he'll let me.. this means becoming more deeper in knowledge in the word.. Soaking up as much of it as I possibly can... Reading the bible everyday.This also means carrying a small binder with flashcards with me so I can do what the bible tells me to do.. "Thy word have I hid in mine heart, that I might not sin against thee." Psalms 119:11.. I wanna have his word hidden in my heart so when I have moments of Fear, Uncertainty & Anxiety I can pull them out of my memory banks to help keep my focus on my eternal focal point.. My eternity with Jesus in Heaven..

So as I step out & face the unknown.. as I face things that will test my courage, faith & strength I know that God is God... He's capable of taking the worst situation..and molding it into the most perfect & beautiful masterpiece.. all I have to do is trust him..

So i'll give this life my very best for the one who died for me.. And I'll let God give the rest of the Results as according to his perfect plan that he Already has designed for my life.. After all my life is in the Potter's Hands..

Happy New Year...

2010-01-06T22:34:00.000-06:00

Just wanted to drop you all a quick note to let you know that you all are on my mind.. I've not forgotten about any of you wonderful readers & friends who have been my support these last 4 months..

First of all I want to say that I pray that you all had a very blessed Christmas.. I spent Christmas Eve with my Parents & brother..and then the rest of Christmas Day with my Mother in Law & family & then Christmas evening with My oldest Stepson, his wife & my two sweet Grandsons...All in all I had a blessed time... but yes. it was so different.. so very quiet..but yet...in a way it felt like James was there among us.. Celebrating along side us..

I can't imagine the celebration that my husband got to participate in Heaven.. how much more glorious & spectacular it was then the celebration that we had here in my home..

So part of the celebration that I had here involved me getting something that I asked for... Mom always has us email or tell her specifically what we what for Christmas.. I wanted James back.. but I knew realistically that couldnt happen..So I asked for the next best thing on my List..
A Acoustic Guitar... I play piano ( a little, still taking lessons) & James always wanted to learn how to play Guitar.. He has a old 12 string Acoustic Guitar that his Dad gave him but he just never learned..

So in his Honor.. I decided that along with Piano.. I want to take up Guitar..

So i asked for this.. & I got it..

Then 2 Days later.. I got the Best Christmas Present my Husband has given me.. a few days before he died we were talking & had agreed that it was

time to get another Dog.. but James knew that I had wanted to get a smaller dog then Dino.. Don't get me wrong.. I love my baby.. he's a sweetheart & has been a big help to me since his Daddy passed on.. but James & I are small small dog lovers.. His mom had gotten a Chihuahua over the summer. James Fell in love with her!! So the weekend before he died we agreed that if her brother's dog had another liter that we would like to have

one.. well what I didn't know was that weekend while I was at work he called his mom & made arrangements for us to get one in the next batch of puppies..

A month after James Died.. Daisy ( the mama dog) was expecting her next liter of pups..My dear sweet mother in law called me & told me that James was gonna get me one.. & asked me if is still wanted it.. I didn't have to think about

it.. The word YES flew right out of my lips.

So 2 days after Christmas.. I drive to my MIL's house totally unannounced.. which is totally unlike me.. usually I call before i come visit.. And what was even wilder about the whole thing was Mama had just gotten back from her brother's house & had my puppy with her!!

So my dear friends & family.. I want to introduce you to the newest member of my family.. Meet Timmy.. I named him after his Daddy.. For those of you who don't know.. James was called Timmy by the family instead of James.. so it felt fitting

that our new puppy got named after his Daddy..

I hope & pray you all had a very blessed holiday.. May this New year be the best year of your life..

Love to you all!

Let it Be & Merry Christmas

2009-12-25T23:27:00.000-06:00

Its been four months since James went to be with Jesus.. Four months of missing my best friend. Four months of coming home to an empty house at the end of a long work day.. Four months of eating meals alone. Four months of not having my best friend to confide in.

Things that I miss dearly.. things that in a way I probably took for granted.. things that I thought I would get to share with James till that trumpet sounded to call us all home to Jesus..

I spend a lot of my time at home.. alone.. with Dino the Great by my side.. Do I enjoy it? NO not in the least.. but some moments after a busy hectic day at work I find the quiet refreshing.. where I can sit and reflect on my precious memories that I have of my sweet husband.. I miss him more & more as each day passes..

Honestly as each day passes I find myself recalling memories that are deep in my mind… memories that I haven’t thought of in a long while.. I’ll be at work.. helping customers.. or talking to them about the holidays & out of the blue a memory will creep in my mind & stay there till its done playing itself out in my mind..

I miss him deeply.. miss him horribly.. I want so bad to crawl into bed and just be able to wrap my arms around him & feel his arms around me & drift off to sleep just holding him..

But sadly this is part of God’s plan for my life... For those of you who don’t follow me on Twitter.. I have gained two wonderful church families during this difficult season of my life.. I attend Carpenter’s House Church here in Murfreesboro.. On Sunday evenings you can find me at Crosspoint Community Church in Nashville hearing my friend Pete Wilson Preach.. Each time I go to Crosspoint.. it seems like the message is exactly what I need to hear for what I’m currently going through.. Right now we’re in a series called Rhythm .. where Pete talks about Hope, Love, Joy, & Peace as we approach the Christmas Season..

On Sunday (12-6-09) Pete talked about Hope. In this sermon he talked about Mary & Joseph got the news from the angel that Jesus was on his way... He read Luke 1:26-38 how in verse 37-38 Mary declares that with God Nothing is impossible,, and simply says,, “if this is your will Lord.. Let it be.”

Mary had a attitude of confidence that if that was what God wanted her to do.. then she would be obedient & do Gods Will.. She was strong in her belief & trust in God that she simply said “ Let it be”

Pete talked about how in our different situations in our lives that we need to have the same wonder & honor for God by saying.. “Let it be Lord”

I want to have the same kind of attitude regarding James’s passing on. I want to simply be able to say “Okay Lord.. Let it Be.”

As I clean the house. Getting it ready for my family to come spend Christmas with me.. I shop for presents & decorate the house.. I’m missing my husband’s company.. his constant jokes about this or that.. I miss his love for the holidays & how he would talk about what we would do for the family for Christmas & what kind of gifts to get the boys & the grandkids..

I Miss hearing him burst out in song.. “Silent Night” was one of his favorite Christmas songs to sing. I miss his awe & love for the holiday season & miss hearing him talk about what it would be like to have Christmas with mama & the rest of the family in Galtinburg.. just to have one White Christmas together.. I miss him joking about me buying him a REALLY expensive gift that he knew that we couldn’t afford.. but he would Joke around & say that he needed them..I miss the pranks he would pull on me around Christmas time.. or any time of the year for that matter..

But as I look forward to Christmas which is now here. I got to spend time with my family. My parents came to be with me for Christmas eve & Christmas Day.. My mom in law is cooked our Christmas dinner.. my heart may be heavy with sadness that my husband isn’t here to celebrate Christmas here with me.. But I can’t imagine what the celebration was like in Heaven getting to celebrate with Christ himself.. and I’m thankful that my husband is there in his presence celebrating.
So despite it all my heart chooses to say..
LET IT BE LORD..

Christmas Is here.. Praying it was very blessed & you all got everything that your heart desired… May God pour his blessings on you this Christmas day…

Love to you all!

SO Thankful...

2009-11-25T20:16:00.004-06:00

Its been 3 months and 3 weeks since James went to be with Jesus.. As I approach the holiday season my heart is heavy.. my heart aches.. my arms long to wrap around him and hold him tightly..and deep down inside I want to be able to Kiss him..

But Reality settles in.. I wake up each morning & the first thing I see is his side of the bed that is empty.. I run my hands over his pillow & say "Good Morning I love you" then I roll over & look at his picture on my night stand & run my finger over his face & pray that God Gives me the strength to face the day without him by my side..

Each day seems to bring a new challenge.. Each day I find myself recalling more & more memories..I find myself at work, busy with my work and a picture of him will creep into my mind.. I'll begin to picture him sitting on the edge of the bed talking on the phone rocking back & forth like he always did..

I find myself seeing him playing in bed with Dino.. play growling & rough housing & Dino would be barking back at him..

I find myself busy around the house.. & it seems like I can just hear him calling my name "RISSA" or I find myself making Dinner & I think about asking him if he wants something to go with it..

He's never far from my mind... it seems with each moment that I am awake I can sense him around me.. & There are always moments that I wish that He can be by my side doing things alongside with me..

But with Each breath I take.. Each moment that I have to be apart from him I find myself Thankful.. Thankful that he's no longer in pain.. Thankful that he's No longer suffering.. Thankful that he No longer having to worry about going blind.. Thankful that he No Longer has to give himself Insulin Shots each day..Thankful that he No Longer has to struggle with weight gain & issues due to that..

But Most of all I find myself Thankful that he is with our Creator.. Our LORD.. OUR SAVIOR.. I find myself Thankful that he's in our eternal Home.. Where one day soon I'll be with him never to part no more.. I'm Thankful that He's Healed & has been made whole.. I'm thankful that God allows him to send me Kisses from Heaven... And sweet Laughter in my dreams...

I am thankful that through this hard & difficult journey God has given me wonderful people that I call call my family.. The Family that I've found at The Carpenter's House.. The family I've found at Cross Point Community Church & the family that I've gained by marrying my best friend..

So thank you to all of you who have in many ways helped me & continue to help me on this difficult journey in my life.. Thank You Gail Hyatt for being there with me over the phone during those darkest moments of my life.. you were there for me when I needed someone the most.. No one should have to face the news of a loved one being gone to be with Jesus alone.. Thank you Twitter friends for your constant Prayers & Encouragement.. Thank You Pete Wilson for the encouragement your messages brings me when I come to Cross Point on Sunday Evenings.. Thank you Blake Bergstrom for lending me your ear.. for your constant encouragement & your constant prayer.. Thank you To my family.. for your constant love, support, phone calls & the memories that we share about James.. Thank You for the laughter that we can share as we recall the wonderful moments with James..
(there is so many of you I want to say Thank You To personally... If your name isn't listed please Know that I love you & am Thankful for your love & support as well during this journey...)

So as I prepare for bed.. & I think about the feast that I'll get to enjoy tomorrow at my Mom in Laws House.. I think about the Thanksgiving Feast that my husband is partaking in..I begin to wonder what it would be like.. & I know that it is going to be so much better then the ones that we will enjoy Tomorrow.. And Knowing that my Sweet Husband James is going to be attending a far more wonderful feast.. a feast in which my Lord & Savior will sit at... I find myself in awe.. & ever.. SO THANKFUL...

Happy Thanksgiving to you all.. May the Lord Bless each & everyone of you..

With Much Love,

It was a heart attack

2009-11-04T23:10:00.001-06:00

It’s been 13 weeks since James passed away.. Since my sweet husband went on to be with Jesus Forever & Ever.. 13 weeks of anxiously waiting on the results from the autopsy.. Waiting with a bit of dread of what the autopsy would reveal the cause of death would be..

Well the waiting is no longer necessary… apparently they had the results a while ago… they just never informed us that they had it.. So after several phone calls we finally reached them…and they finally told us the answer to the question we’ve had for so long… What was the cause of death??

Apparently he had a heart attack while he slept, which also severely damaged his heart but thankfully he didn’t have any pain or any suffering whatsoever because he was asleep when this occured..and for that.. I am so thankful to God that God granted James his request & took him in his sleep. Just the way James prayed that God would take him..

My heart aches.. I am relieved that our main question as has been answered.. But there are still questions that remain… for me there is.. questions that I ask myself.. like why didn’t his heart doctor do more test on that Friday before he died.. Why didn’t he take my husband seriously when my husband asked him to run more tests?.. Why didn’t the doctor see that the water build up was worse then it had been before and send him to the hospital?. WHY?

But I am not in control.. God is.. God knew that this was going to take place long before it did.. God knew that this is the way that James would go to be with him.. God knew the battle my husband was struggling with day in and day out.. He knew my husband’s pain & suffering that he has gone thru in the past four years.. The endless battle that he had going on with his vision.. the worry about possibly waking up completely blind.. the struggles he had with his back injury & the pain that he dealt with daily .. God knew that James was dealing with all this & more. so he decided the best plan was to let him go home & be with him..

The way I see it.. God knew how much James could handle.. James made a statement several times that if he went blind he wouldn’t be able to handle it.. My heart broke & ached each time I heard him say that.. Maybe God knew that complete blindness was fixing to happen & knew that he couldn’t deal with it.. so he took him home before he would ever have to experience total darkness..

For that complete healing of his eyes, body & heart I am so ever thankful to God for that.. For the complete restoration of his heart that had been broken in two by some events from his past I thank God for that as well.

James Died of a Heart Attack.. James died with a damaged heart.. but the way I see it.. James has been received into Glory for eternity.. And his heart that was broken has been made whole.. & is beating.. the prefect beat that only comes from God himself

Rejoice my Dear.. for your broken heart has been healed.. your broken body has been made whole.. your broken spirit has been filled to the brim with Joy that only comes from God himself.. Rejoice for your in the presence of our almighty creator.. you no longer have to struggle day to day in this life here on earth.. Rejoice because one day soon we will be reunited.. We will be able to wrap our arms around each other & look each other in the eye again & say I love you.. and this time.. we will never part again..

I love you Baby, I miss you, but I chose to rejoice in the fact that you are in heaven & I will see you again.

All my Love,

I AM NOT ALONE

2009-10-19T22:34:00.004-05:00

The following post is a bit lengthy.. please bear with me as I write whats been on my heart.. I appreciate all of your love & support that you've given me.. May God Bless you all richly!

Its been 10 weeks since James went to be with Jesus… 10 weeks of somehow finding a balance on this new journey on this road called LIFE.. I go to work. To stay busy. Why? Because I need to think about something else besides coming home on August 10^th and finding my husband Gone to be with the Lord.I need something to focus on so my mind doesn’t constantly picture the way I found him in bed. Yes he was sleeping & went Peacefully. But the fear that held my heart that night as I tried many times to get him to wake up. Still grips my heart from time to time as I recall that night in my mind. I keep calling his name so many times, shaking him gently and then a little harder hoping deep down that he was just in a really deep sleep & that any moment his eyes would open to let me know that he was okay…

I keep recalling the moments waiting for the paramedic to come out of the bedroom. My friend Gail was on the phone with me. Trying to get me to calm down as I waited for word on what was going on with my sweet husband… Bless Gail’s heart. She was the receiver of my many cries & screams as they informed me that he didn’t have a pulse and that there was nothing more they could do for him. I told Gail what they told me and got off the phone with her to begin again trying to get in contact with my family.

After about 15 mins. I finally got ahold of everyone on James’s side of the family.. Told Kevin my oldest stepson that I needed him & Daniel to come be with me.. & then called My Mother In law to inform her.. Those were the hardest phone calls I’ve ever had to make..

My husband’s friend came to be with me & stayed with me as the EMT’s & Sheriff’s Dept took care of James.They moved me into the kitchen where I couldn’t see anything. And I talked with the Detective who was handling everything…answering his questions well trying to refrain from crying hysterically…

I asked to see James before they took him to have the autopsy done but the detective felt it was better that I didn’t. I hated that I couldn’t see him before they took him.

My family arrived; I got to see my then 6-month-old niece for the first time ever. I was sad that it had to be under these circumstances that I was just getting to see & hold her. I was sad that James wouldn’t be able to hold her.

Thank God for my Mom & sister… they stayed with me here at the house while we begin to make arrangements. I kept myself holed up in our bedroom. I was on his computer looking over pictures. & Picking out pictures to use for the funeral. I kept myself in the room where I felt at peace the Most. While my Mom & Sister kept themselves preoccupied cleaning the rest of my house in case I had a lot of company afterwards.

I received hundreds of tweets & emails from people who were praying for my family & me…
I received phone calls from my friends here around home & friends that I hadn’t talked to in awhile. Phone calls to see if there was anything I needed. All I could say was just pray, when what I really wanted to say was could you pray that God gives me my husband back?

Before I knew it the Day of the Funeral arrived. I was dreading it so much. I got myself dressed up & up my makeup on. Trying to make myself look pretty for my sweet husband. Just wishing that I could get to hear him say, “I love you” one last time. Wishing with all my might that I could feel his arms around me.

Finally I am at the funeral home. I stand by his casket. Running my hands through his hair & his beard. Wishing that at any moment his eyes would open & his face would light up in a smile as if to say “Gotcha”, wishing with all my heart that this was just a bad joke. Not that James would pull a joke like this.

The service begins & Bro. Johnny reads a letter that James had wrote him back right before we got married. I knew that he was emailing Bro. Johnny but had no idea about this letter. I go up to the casket one last time. Bro. Johnny gives me the letter to take home, after slipping it in my purse; I run my hand through his hair one last time. & Lean in to kiss his lips one last time before they close the casket. I tell him "I love you"

I step into the other room but I can still see the casket lid… the funeral director asks if I would like one more visit, with tears streaming down my face I shake my head. They begin to close the casket lid & I can hear myself crying & feel my knees begin to give under me. I feel arms wrap around me & my niece Misty pulls me up & holds me as I watch them close the lid. “GOD WHY” my heart cries.

They take us to his plot & lower him in the ground. I stay in my seat. Unwilling to move until his casket is fully covered in dirt.

The Journey begins. Moving forward. Going through each day without my beloved by my side. Facing difficult decisions alone. Facing breakdowns alone. Trying to figure things out. ALONE.

But then in the quiet as I pray for God’s Grace & Strength to hold me up through the difficult moments. In those moments where I find myself staying busy & surrounding myself with family, close friends & my Church Family. I realize that
I AM NOT ALONE on this journey. there may be moments in the darkest times of this journey that it may seem that way.. But I know what I have to do. All I have to do is Call his name; it’s the sweetest name there is. The Name JESUS.

And that’s now I know. I am never ever ALONE….

I Choose to Praise Him

2009-10-12T00:12:00.002-05:00

Its been 2 months.. 2 long months since My sweet Husband James Went to be with Jesus..2 months of developing a somewhat semi normal routine for now..2 months of waking up alone wishing I could roll over and find him staring at me & I wishing I could kiss him when I wake up..

2 months of waiting.. waiting to hear the results of the Autopsy that we still haven’t gotten back.. 2 months of wondering if maybe.. just maybe there was something we could have done to prevent him from dying.. but deep down inside.. I know that it was his time to go home. deep down I know that it was time for God to Heal him but God decided to heal him in the way he saw more fitting.. He decided to take him home & allow him to experience complete healing.. from the top of his head to the soles of his feet.. He’s healed.. He’s made whole.. He can see now.. things that he’s missed for the past 5 years., and he can now enjoy in fullness the things that he has NEVER seen before. He’s able to run, jump & do things that he’s not been able to do in years.. He’s been made whole.. Thank you for that Lord..

I’m missing James like crazy.. I hate waking up to find his pillow damp from my tears.. I hate waking up to find his side of the bed empty. I hate coming home from work & realizing that the house is empty & quiet. I hate it that Dino doesn’t have his daddy to play with while I work. I hate it that I don’t have James here to pick on me when I cook or clean the house.. I miss him being around to cheer me up when I am having a bad day.. I miss knowing that I had him to go home to at the end of a long day at work.. I miss being able to
spend my days off with him, sleeping in and waking up to finding him watching me sleep. Him telling me that he loves me and then putting his arms around me as we take in the first moments of the day together..

I miss the life that I had with my husband.. I miss going to visit our family.. going to sit at mama’s house for the afternoon on Sundays and just sitting around & talking with mama.. I miss going to see the grandbabies & hearing him pick on both of the boys.. oh lord I can hear him now..

There is so much that I miss about Life with James.. So much that I had hoped that we would be able to do together but we won’t now that he’s in Heaven.. but I press forward each day focusing on the fact that he would want me to enjoy each moment as God give it to me.. He would want me to go forward taking in each new day that God has for me.. He would want me to live each day to the fullest.

As each day comes & passes.. my pain & grief seem to be more & more each day.. at times seeming so unbearable.. how can I move forward.. how can I face each moment in my life without my best friend by my side.. How can I look forward to family events & everyday life without him being with me. These are questions that I play over & over in my mind constantly..

But in my heart I know the truth.. the truth that my heavenly father is giving me the strength & grace to face each moment as it comes.. He gives me the strength & grace to face each new decision I have to make, he gives me the strength & grace to face each challenge with my head held up high.

It’s a new day.. my husband may not be here next to me in body.. but he is in spirit.. He may not be here to hold me when I am sad and crying.. I may not be able to hear him say “I Love You” but I know that as he looks down from heaven he’s sending me ways to tell me those things..

My Husband is Healed.. he’s in Heaven having the time of his life.. He’s getting to feast off the table of my KING. He’s able to be in my KINGS court & sing praises to him.. He’s able to see God for who he is & is able to understand things that I don’t..
But for that… I am ever so thankful..

My husband is healed... I’m at church.. the worship music is playing over me.. the singers are pouring out their praise to God.. my heart floods with love & passion for my KING.. with tears running down my face I slip my shoes off and I slip out of my pew and move to the front.. I lift my hands towards heaven & begin to dance.. I choose to praise him..

With Much Love,

My Heart Aches

2009-09-12T23:49:00.002-05:00

It’s been one month since I came home & found that my sweet Husband had gone to be with Jesus..
4 long hard weeks.. 4 weeks that have been filled with grief.. filled with sadness. I am longing for my love.. And there are nights that my pillows are soaking wet with my tears… There are nights where Dino is trying to lick my face but because of my grief & sorrow I push him away just so I can cry…and call out to God to please just let this be a really bad dream.

But I know that my Lord isn’t one to make mistakes in any way.. That this was supposed to happen. This is supposed to be his will.

But I don’t understand.. WHY? Why would God take my best friend away from me? Why would he leave me here to face this world alone?.

I know that I am not alone.. I’m not alone in this long walk that I have ahead of me.. but there are moments where it certainly feels that way.

I have moments of up & down, moments where I want to be around people & feel like being sociable,, and moments where I just want to be alone so I can reflect on my sweet handsome man who knew how to make me smile, how to make me laugh, & knew the deepest desires of my heart.

I have moments where I sit with the TV on but I have my laptop in my lap & I replay home videos over & over so I can memorize the sound of his voice.. I have moments where I gaze & stare at pictures so I can memorize every feature of his beautiful face..
And moments where I replay the voicemails I have saved over & over just so I can hear him say “I love you” once more.

4 years ago I met & fell in Love with James.. 4 years later after falling in love, dating, & marrying my best friend I can honestly say if I had to do it over again.. I wouldn’t change a thing..

I’m at peace with the knowledge that He passed in his sleep & didn’t suffer. I’m at peace with the fact that God Granted him his prayer & took him home in his sleep.. I’m at peace knowing that he’s up in heaven waiting for me to be called home or waiting for Jesus to sound that trumpet..

I am blessed.. Blessed knowing that the last words I told my husband before leaving for work that morning on August 10th 2009 were “I LOVE YOU” & he told me “I LOVE YOU” back.

But even then knowing all I know.. Knowing that He loved me & still does.. Knowing that Jesus took him without him suffering & knowing that I got to tell him “I Love You” before he passed.. My heart still aches.. My heart still longs for my best friend to be by my side, but deep down I know that he is.. not in body.. but his spirit is with me. So I must rest tonight with the knowledge that my strength lays in the arms of my Almighty God.. & its there in those arms I find Peace..
Peace that my husband is with my Savior & Peace that God will bring me through.
Just one Step at a time..

Much Love,

Rest in Peace my Love

2009-08-16T23:55:00.001-05:00

God Gives & He Takes Away

But my heart chooses to say.. Blessed be the name of the Lord

These are the hardest words I’ve ever had to write.. I never ever thought that I would have to write this.. But God had different plans then what my husband & me had in mind. But then again. That’s how God is..

I didn’t know that God had plans to take my husband home with him Monday afternoon.. I didn’t know that he had plans to make me a widow at the age of 24..

James & I went to the Heart Dr on Friday because he’s been having some discomfort again.. The doctor told us it was water build up & gave him a lasix shot at the office.. and sent us home..

Saturday & Sunday he didn’t feel well.. mostly his normal complaints about back hurting.. With maybe mentioning once on Sunday that his heart acted weird once..

Monday morning came.. I was busy getting ready for work.. Had coffee & bible time & couldn’t hear him.. he was sleepy like.. Sitting on the edge of the bed drifting off every now & then.. Then right before I left I talked to him for a couple minutes.. He laid back down & I kissed him bye & told him I loved him.. and said it again right before I walked out the door.. this time he signed it back in sign language..

I called him during each break at work. With no response back.

I was worried.. But not to bad because I knew that he usually slept while I was at work.. When I didn’t hear anything back by 6 pm that night.. I had a feeling maybe he was just resting more & was ignoring the phone & waiting for me to get off to talk.. Like he sometimes does…but I was wrong.. So wrong..

After I got off I checked my phone.. His best friend had called me & was concerned too.. I quickly got my stuff & rushed to our SUV.. I arrived home 10 mins later & found my sweet husband in bed unconscious.. I called 911 & they came & they couldn’t do anything for him.. The first thing I asked the Paramedic as soon as he came out of the bedroom was “does he have a pulse?” He said “NO" & that he had already been gone for some time. He went to be with Jesus at some point during the day while I was at work.

Do I hate the fact that my husband Is no longer with me.. Yes I do. Do I want him back with me? Yes I do. Each & every moment that I am awake I wish I could have him back., but that’s not my Lord’s will at all..

Am I thankful that my husband passed on in his sleep.. Oh yes I most certainly am glad that God granted my husband that prayer.

When he was young he saw his Aunt die gasping & wheezing for breath till she died & that scared him. So It was James’s desire to go to be with the Lord in his sleep & God took him that way & for that I am ever so thankful..

But the pain is still there.. I miss my husband so terribly, but deep down inside I know that he wouldn’t want to come back even if God allowed him to.. He’s no longer hurting or suffering from all those things that he’s been battling with for so long..

I know James is enjoying Heaven.. I know he’s up there with Daddy, Grandma & so many others who I know that have gone on before us.

My dear sweet one..

I miss you so bad.. I want you with me but I know that God wanted you home for some reason. Please Know that I love you so very much… Thank you for your love, your family & for giving me two incredible sons who have been doing a wonderful job of caring for me..

I hope your enjoying Heaven & please remember.. I love you soo very much.. I’ll see you again. Soon I hope, but meanwhile. Wait for me. And rest in peace my love..

With all my love,

Check out this (in)Courage group.. So worth it!

2009-08-09T23:33:00.002-05:00

Today has been a rather crazy out of the ordinary Sunday.. if you ask my opinion that what I would tell you anyways.. Things have been crazy since the time I woke up.. maybe that had something to do with the fact that I stayed up till 4 am to clean because I worked till 11 pm and Lord it takes forever to get winded down.. especially after working a shift like I did.. Tax free weekend + lots of shoppers = cashiers & customer service Reps going crazy trying to serve everyones needs & get customers checked out fast & effectively.. no small feat on my part.. just wound me up & I was like the Energizer bunny... I kept going & going.. You get the point.. I am sure my coworkers will be glad for it to be over in about a hour..

4 hours of sleep.. waking up nearly late for church.. but was blessed with just 1 baby in nursery..& was blessed with lots of fellowship time with his sweet mama who works in the nursery with me.. I am soo looking forward to next week at Carpenter's House.. Next week I start working with the kids on doing their first song in Sign Language.. We're doing "Friend Of GOD".. I think the kids are pumped & so am I.. but we have 2 weeks to pull it off.. because we are doing it on AUG 30 for Family Day at church.. but I think we'll be fine..

Plus I wanted to give you a heads up on something exciting that's taking place tomorrow..I just found out that a handful of my favorite people.. and favorite bloggers are taking part in (in)Courage.. a project that's being launched by Dayspring (the Christian Division of Hallmark) that's aimed at helping Christian Women connect over the web.. & like I said.. a Handful of my FAVORITE bloggers have been selected to be apart of this.. please please go check out the (in)Courage site.. & My Friend's Blogs who are helping with this.. Here is the list of my Friend's Blogs

Angie Smith- Many of you know her as Todd Smith's (of SELAH) wife & the mommy to Sweet Audrey Caroline who went home to be with Jesus Last year.. She's a Huge inspiration to me & Hope to meet her face to face & her wonderful Family one day SOON! She's also in the process of writing her first Book.. so please cover her in prayer during this time..

Anne Jackson- She works at Crosspoint Church & is the author of Mad Church Disease.. and is in the process of writing another book called Permission to Speak Freely.. I've have the honor of meeting her at Crosspoint Church & she's just as AWESOME in person as she is online & on her blog. Go give her a shout out on her blog.. & check out how you can help her write her new book Permission to Speak Freely.

Robin- she went on the Compassion Bloggers Mission trip with Pete Wilson, Angie Smith, & Anne Jackson & several others that went to India for 14 days to minister & see their Kids that they Sponsor through Compassion International. I Follow her on twitter & she's a Blast.. & is a wonderful friend.. even though I only know her ONLINE..

Jessica Turner- wife to Matthew Paul Turner who wrote Churched & mommy to Elias Jude.. She's a creative person.. & enjoys scrapbooking & photography like me & she has wonderful tips & advice & has a sweet little boy.. I would love to meet her & Matthew in person too..

I pray that's all of them.. I did go to (in)Courage to make sure I wasn't missing anyone.. so if you would please go check out the site & check out my friends Blogs tomorrow as this launches.. I am sure you will be inspired, loved & will more than likely will find a family of wonderful Christian Women who use the talents that GOD has given them to speak to you & forever transform your life..

May Peace surround you tonight & forever from Jesus Christ Whom all blessings flow..

I got my Macbook!

2009-08-08T01:50:00.003-05:00

Everyone,

Just wanted to let you know that computer problems can be gone now in the Name of Jesus.. because this household has been recently blessed with the purchase of a brand new MACBOOK... you heard me.. I've given up on my last 15 years of using PCs and have finally joined in the ranks & gotten me a mac.. and boy do I love it!! ( I still have my PC desktop.. shhh don't tell apple!)

Sorry no pics at the moment.. I am too tired & too excited to be playing with my Mac to do so lol.. but will soon..

In other news... that plane crash that hit Murfreesboro near Walter Hill community?? yep.. that was right up the road from our house.. a few miles up.. we are okay.. just felt the crash when the plane went down.. and holy smokes sounded like a bomb had went off.. but Thank GOD that both pilot & passenger walked away from the crash with out injury! Praise Be to Jesus!!

Our Sweet ~~wild child, crazy~~ 2 year old nephew Sean? yeah he had to be rushed to the ER yesterday.. because he was playing on the couch.. jumped off & hit the coffee table.. Poor baby had to get 4 stables in the back of his head.. but as far as that goes. He's fine & at home with his Mama, Sister & Uncle Joe (my Brother)

That puppy that I told you we might get?? hmm Mom in law believes that her brother's mama dog is pregnant again... so looks like DINO better prepare himself for a baby sister!! whooo hoo!!

The van is sold.. has been for almost a week now.. so Hurrah! for getting that taken care of..

and in case you missed it.. Since twitter has been down recently due to a hacker.. I got my Hair permed last Night!

Pic to come as soon as I figure out how to use my camera on my Mac to take pics I can post online..

well as porky the pig says.. THAT's ALL FOLKS!!

Blessings,

Praying for Abby & Stellan & updates

2009-07-30T21:22:00.004-05:00

Man oh man.. I had this post nearly finished & about to hit the Publish button when all of a sudden it disappeared!! AHH gotta love it.. But here is the post that I wrote before accidentally deleting it!

For those of you who have been following baby Stellan he's been doing good the last few days.. Tomorrow they will start weaning him off the IV meds & on oral meds so that hopefully he can go home soon.. The plans to transfer him to Boston have been put on hold unless anything changes with his SVT.. Prayfully they will get his meds regulated enough that he can go home & continue to grow until he is old enough or weights enough for him to have his next ablation. To keep yourself updated on his happenings & what the doctors plans are.. Please go visit his mom MckMama's blog for more details.

Sweet Abby Riggs is in the hospital too.. Abby was supposed to go to Dance Camp this week when the Doctor called Brent & Michelle to infrom them that Abby had a serious infection & needed to be hospitalized.. Please pray for this sweet angel.. that God will heal her from this infection.. that her levels will stay where they need to & that abby can return hom soon.. Please pray for Brent & Michelle & the doctors as they care for her. To see her update go to her family's blog to see what they got going on there..

Could you also please pray for a friend from work.. Ms. S is a friend of mine who is 35 weeks pregnant.. she's almost had little J early like her other 3 kids.. but has been fortunete to keep him in her womb tihs far.. She's finally been ordered to bed rest & is having issues with her blood pressure with it being too high.. Please pray for the safety of her & baby J and that her deliever goes smooth.. I'll let you know how things go.. S is allowing me to do his pictures after he is born.. this will be my first newborn shoot & I am sooo excited!!

Now in other news.. I am currently without my car again.. well its sitting in our driveway.. but am not able to drive it due to a gas leak.. at first we thought it was just the overflow leaking out when it got too full.. and would only leak while pumping gas & a bit afterwards.. but after filling it up & driving it for several days I kept my eye on it & it was still leaking.. not bad like it does when I pump the gas..but still a slow drip that has me concerned & too freaked out to drive it.. So for my ~~peace of mind~~ safety I am driving hubbys truck or his SUV depending on what is going on each day.. So the car is waiting.. to be fixed again that is.. but hey! we did find a buyer on my VAN.. and will be delievering it to them on Sunday.. WHOO HOO!!

If you've been following me on twitter then you know i've been dealing with non stop issues with my laptop.. If you've been follwing me closely you may know that i've been researching for ther right laptop & am currently looking at MACBOOKS.. so I would love to give you an opportunity to tell me what you think about MAC's what you do or don't like about them, your favorite programs to use on your MAC & why you love your MAC over having a PC..
I have a bunch of friends who live in Franklin/Nashville who I've been ~~bothering~~ pickin their minds about MAC's & finding out why they love them.. So please.. the floor is yours.. What are your thoughts on Mac computers..

Well until I write again.. Which will be soon I hope.. If only I can keep my laptop working... hehe

Blessings on you & yours,

Prayers for Stellan & MckMama

2009-07-26T18:46:00.003-05:00

For those of you who don't know MckMama & Baby Stellan are in Children's Hospital again & Stellan is in PICU again.. They were trying a new combination of drugs but that didn't work so they have him on his old drugs thru IV.. trying to get his SVT under control.. The doctors are wanting to do everything possible to keep from having to do Heart surgery on him at this point.. because if they do they more than likely will have to do open heart surgery & put in a pacemaker.. SO please Please Pray that God will guide the doctor's hands & minds as they make a plan that will help Stellan get out of SVT & stay out of SVT..

If you have a blog Frog account you may already know that we are doing a prayer Vigil for Stellan & MckMama.. I believe that we have almost have the next 48 hours covered.. but if your intrested & want to join us ..Please contact Heidi... or join the My Charming Kids Community on Blog Frog

Keep on Praying troops.. Be sure to check on MckMama's Blog or follow her on Twitter for updates on Stellan's condition!!

If I find out more I will be sure to update.. Please Keep praying!

Blessings,

Some Updates.. in case your wondering...

2009-07-21T22:52:00.004-05:00

Things have been busy here with me working & then summer being here its just seems that time keeps flying by.. Its mid July & August & Back to school is right around the corner.. Whew... I mean come on! The Kids just got out for Pete's sake! But I guess the sooner they go back.. the sooner things start to slow down?? Nope.. actually as we settle back into the pace of preparing for school things actually get even more busy... meetings with teachers etc you name it.. School means the calender is going to be jam packed... Now.. you all know I don't have kids.. but I've been there as a student & know how crazy that drove my parents.. and to all my friends & bloggy friends who do have kids.. I feel for you!! Seriously I do..

James has started a diet..he's been drinking plenty of weight loss shakes & watching calories.. I've been trying hard to be helpful by not eating in front of him.. so What I've been doing is I'll help him get his stuff prepared.. mostly fruits & veggies & a diet rite.. then I'll come in the living room where he can't see my food <> and eat while I channel surf or work on the laptop.. ~~which I nearly threw out the door the other day~~

If you follow me on twitter you know that lately we've been having a lot of computer issues in our house..James's computeter won't turn on for him half of the time.. he will be trying for hours to get it on & all I have to do is walk over & it will work... My desktop.. I can no longer get it online..James has tried several times.. he's been sucessful getting it to work.. but then as soon as I sit down to get online to do updates on my antiviurs, etc.. Poof it goes off.. AHH so frusterating.. Then this week.. the drama continued.. My laptop has been acting really sluggish..and when I tried to hook my protatble hard drive with pictures & stuff to it.. It wouldn't read the hard drive.. At all.. James tried 3 times unsucessfully to get it to work... & nothing did.. then last night.. I decided to pull the laptop out & hop online in the living room.. I was pretty tried from my long day & thought that I could just keep myself awake by doing some much needed work on my email accounts etc... the hard drive was still conneceted to the laptop & when it booted up.. poof... there it was.. it was reading my hard drive!! whoo hoo!!

So needless to say I got alot more done with my emails then I anticipated.. I was able to get pictures from emails sent to me by friends & family of their kids saved to my hard drive.. and still have a long list of pictures to copy to the hard drive of my sweet Nephew & Neice that my sister has sent me.. more work to do.. for another day.. LOL

For those of you wondering about our nephew Christopher.. he has finally been released from the hospital with specific instructions on how to care of his burns.. & pain meds.. After staying with his dad for a week his mom came from Arkansas & got him & took him home.. I also believe that they were going to take him the the Children's hospital up there to see what they can do for him.... Its been a couple days & I've not heard any more new news regarding if he's in the hospital or not.. But thanks to all of you who have prayed & are still praying.. He still has a long road to a full recovery...as I get the news I will be sure to let you know how he's doing..

Now.. the big question in our house lately has been should we get one of these??

This is Sweet Pea.. My Mother n Laws dog.. She's about 10 weeks old & is cute as a button.. I've been wanting another dog for sometime now.. a little smaller then DINO.. ~~because he is kinda big ya know?~~ and also I hate the fact that Dino doesn't get to be social with other dogs much unless I take him to the park or to families houses with us when we visit..

so... help us out.. should we get a Chihuahua?? we've been discussing the possibility.. but I would love my readers input!! please share your thoughts on this with me!! We would love to hear from you all!

Well I better get off here.. the laundry isn't gonna fold itself.. in fact anyone wanna come do it for me? Just kidding.. praying you all have a great & blessed night!!

In His Love,

Updates are on the way

2009-07-20T23:33:00.003-05:00

Dear friends.
I haven't forgotten about you at all.. its just been extremely busy here on our end with work & things going on in the family...
I just wanted to let you know that I will post updates on the current events here either in the morning before I leave for work.. Or sometime after I return home...

My laptop is currently working AGAIN.. Thanks Honey!! So I plan on updating with some pictures of what we've been up to the last couple days..and a update on some family events that have occurred in the last week..

so please.. don't take my silence as a bad thing.. I've just been to busy, tired, & frustrated with my laptop to post...

I look forward to updating you all.. but until then.. this tired body is going to bed...

GOOD NITE

How can I make my blog better?

2009-07-16T17:28:00.002-05:00

Been working on the blog.. as many of you can tell I've changed the layout, background, & pictures.. Plus on top of that i've taken the music off..I've gotten a few complaints about the autoplay & couldn't figure out how to stop that so I took the Year old Playlist down..I am currently working on labels for all of my posts so it will make it easier when you search my blog..now the burning question..

What Can I do to my blog to make it better?? What would you like to see more of on my blog? or less of?? Is there anything you would like for me to talk about on my blog? what? why? Please leave me comments or email me your thoughts on what I can do to make my blog better & what I can do to draw more people in to read my blog!!

I am looking forward to hearing you input!!

Thanks & God Bless you,

Wordless Wednesday

2009-07-15T12:28:00.003-05:00

How did that get there :-)

SHOW HOPE for baby boy..

2009-07-12T23:31:00.001-05:00

I've been meaning to get this post up sooner.. but things have been busy around here.. James hasn't been feeling well lately.. Please pray that he gets better soon...I will try to fill you all in on that when the time is right..

I had forgotten to take pictures of all the blankets that I had made for SHOW HOPE.. So when I emailed Emily Richards a copy of the picture we had taken.. I asked her to email me a picture of the blankets... She did... In fact.. She did even better..She emailed me some pictures of one of the blankets with one of the babies that is currently being taken care of at Maria's Big House of Hope..

Meet Baby Boy...

This little baby boy has a special need.. He has a benign tumor on his tongue & needs to have surgery to have it removed.. Once he has the surgery he will be healthy.. and prayerfully will be on his way to finding his forever family!!

Will you all please join me in prayer for this sweet baby.. that he will get his surgery soon & will find a forever family to love him & take care of him... I am sure he would appreciate it!! Emily did tell me she would try her hardest to keep me posted on him.. So as I get the news from her I will let you know.. check out the pictures from the photographer on the SHOW HOPE trip..

One more thing.. GOD has blessed me with so many faithful friends.. A lot that I've come to know through blogging & twitter.. and I am so thankful for my wonderful band of friends who are willing to take time to pray for other friends.. so if you could take some time would you please go visit Adrienne & Jim on their blog soon.. Adrienne is my IRL friend that I have met through blogging.. Look for their exciting news on their blog tomorrow.. and No I don't know what it is.. I was blessed with the opportunity to get to talk with Adrienne tonight.. but I could not get her to spill the beans so to speak.. all I know is that something exciting is fixing to happen in their lives & I am waiting on the edge of my seat to find out what it is...

Well off to bed for me.. Tomorrow starts the promise of yet another week of God's Grace & Faithfulness.. the promise of more blessings & more goodness from my heavenly Father.. Praying you all get blessed in ways you were not expecting this week!!

In his Love,

Favorite Picture

2009-07-07T23:42:00.005-05:00

Welcome to my first blog hop post Hosted by Brent Riggs & sponserd by other bloggers. This week, on TUESDAY, 7/7/09, the theme is A FAVORITE PHOTOGRAPH. Post up one of your favorite photographs and a caption that tells the audience about why its your favorite picture..

This is my favorite picture of me & James.. this was taken about a year or so after we started dating..

we've been together now for four years!! wow has it really been that long..This picture was taken on a trip to KY to see his brother & family.. Looking back its been a adventure these last 4 years.. I look forward to seeing what kind of journey God takes us in the years to come!!

I will always cherish this picture.. because 3 years after this was taken.. I've married the man that I love very much. My best friend & my campion.. my supporter & helper..I love you James!

Whats your favorite picture?? why is it your favorite?? Tell us why!!

Blessings!

Not Me Monday!

2009-07-06T22:23:00.005-05:00

Its been awhile since I've last "not Me'd" and alot of that is because I've been ~~running around pulling my hair out~~ extremely busy or either just to ~~lazy~~ tired to get around to posting a NOT ME..

I've not been staying busy these last few days.. playing with the new program I got for my computer.. thanks to McKMama's raving about this program I didn't go out & buy Photoshop Elements 7 and most certainly have NOT been loving it..

We didn't allow our 7 year old great niece to stay the night with us last Monday night.. which didn't give me an excuse to Not post a NOT me.. Nope Not Me!!

I most certainly didn't act like a kid when I took her to the park before we drove her home.. NOPE NOT ME! & I most certainly didn't play on the swings & climb in the fort with her either.. Nope Not Me!

We most certainly didn't allow her to pick out a toy for her & her brother when we went to the store on the way to her house.. Nope Not Us!!

I most certainly didn't get all excited when I ordered a new 4GB MP3 player that has a video camera on it too!! but wasn't disappointed when I found out I had to wait for a week & half before I get it!! Nope Not Me!!

I most certainly didn't stay up till 1 am this morning redesigning some stuff on the blog... I didn't create a new header & put some new pictures on the blog.. Nope Not Me!!

And I certainly didn't sweep & mop as well before heading to bed too.. Nope Not Me!

and I am certainly not gonna get off here & work on some more designs on Photoshop!!

Good Night.. Happy NOT MEING

Prayers for Christopher

2009-07-05T17:28:00.004-05:00

Just a quick update with a prayer request for our 17 year old Nephew.. James got a phone call this morning from his brother Mike.. Christopher was with his buddies last night setting off fireworks.. He had one in his back pocket. While he was lighting some firecrackers the firework in his pocket became ignited & exploded.. He is in serious condition in ICU at Vanderbilt Medical Center.. He has severe burns on his waist down & all over his legs..He will be needing skin grafts & lots of care to repair the damaged areas.. Please pray for our family as we walk this difficult road.. Pray that God will give us the strength & wisdom to face what is ahead so we can be there to help Christopher recover..

I will keep you all informed as we get the information from the doctors..James & I will probably be in Nashville Tuesday to be with Christopher..I will let you know how that visit goes..

Thank you all for your prayers..
Blessings

Happy 2nd Birthday Sean!!

2009-07-03T23:21:00.006-05:00

For our Family 4th of July starts with a birthday celebration.. 2 years ago my sweet nephew was born.. Over the past 2 years I've watched him go from a sweet babe to a toddler who is now also a big brother..but a little man who is walking, running ~~terrorizing~~ little boy who is learning to talk more & is sooo smart.. He's an incredible big brother to his new sister Kiley.. & in my opinion is growing up way too fast..

Sean with his little sister Kiley
Sean Loving On Kiley

I am so glad that my family is blessed to have these two little ones in our lives.. and am so glad that Sean is finally 2!!!

Hope your birthday was a very blessed one & that you had plenty of Love & laughter to make your day everything you want it to be!

Lord Jesus,

I pray for my nephew Sean.. that you will bless him today on his 2nd birthday.. I pray that you will hold him & keep him in the palm of your hand.. I pray that you will shape him up to be the man of God that you want him to be.. help him to keep his focus on you & keep his heart & mind in your word & in your presence as he grows older...

I thank you for this incredible blessing of a nephew.. and I thank you for a wonderful day that our family had to celebrate his birthday..

In Jesus Name,
AMEN

Happy Birthday Sean.. Sorry I couldn't make it to your party.. but I will see you soon.. I love you!!

Blessings,

Showing some HOPE...

2009-06-25T21:28:00.006-05:00

My deepest apologies my dear friends for not updating more than i have been..Things have been kinda hectic around here & I've been spending all of my free time when I get home from work to complete a special project that I hold dear to my heart..

When I found out that the Chapmans were about to open up an orphanage in China in Memory of their daughter Maria Chapman I wanted to do something to help.. I got to looking around my craft room & got to looking through all of my material..and ideas began to form in my head...

So with the Chapmans leaving so fast to go to China... I had to really crack down & get alot of stuff done..

So the last couple weeks I've been staying busy with this project... & here is a picture of how the blankets that I made for the sweet kids at MARIA'S BIG HOUSE OF HOPE (MBHOH)... I was only able to make 6 blankets before they left..but am planning & working on making more..

So Since the Chapmans left for China Today.. I drove to Franklin on Thursday to give the Chapmans the blankets personally so they could get them & pack them with their stuff to take with them to the kids in China... So I stopped by the SHOW HOPE office in Franklin & met up with Emily Richards.. Steven Curtis Chapman's Oldest daughter & gave her the blankets.. we got to sit & talk about life, ministry.. the fact that we both recently have gotten married.. Her in October, Me in February, & her brother Caleb in May.. I even was able to meet with Caleb Chapman & his new bride Julia.. It was a blast getting to talk to all of them & see what they are doing at Show Hope..

So before I left to come home I had our picture taken..

Caleb & Julia Chapman, Me & Emily Richards

22 people all together from the SHOW HOPE group left this morning around 4 am to spend time working on MBHOH & welcome in the kids at the Grand Opening of MBHOH on July 2nd..

Mary Beth Chapman has the list of the names of people that are going to be going & when they will be coming back... I plan on spending time in prayer for each person individually.. if you want to see WHO is going to be involved with trip go to Mary Beth's blog..or Emily's Blog

If you want to see what is going on while the trip is happening.. Check out the blogs on Steven Curtis Chapman's website.. or you can follow the SHOW HOPE BLOG..

Please continue to keep the Chapman family, the SHOW HOPE Staff & their friends & family that have traveled to China in your prayers..

Lord God..
I pray for the Chapmans, The Show Hope Staff & their friends & family that are traveling to open up this home for the orphans that so desperately need your mercy, grace & your love.. Lord I ask for guidance, strength & courage & wisdom for all the of the ones involved in the work & the opening of Maria's Big House of Hope.. I pray for the staff there.. that you will minister to their hearts.. & guide their hands to be your hands & feet.. I pray for the Children that will be there.. that they will feel your presence all around them.. That you will guide the Doctor's hands as they help these Children who need medical attention...

Let your will be done in everything that happens as this House of Hope is being opened..I pray for the Chapmans as they travel to China for the first time without Maria.. that they will sense your peace, your Love, & your mercy.. give them strength & help them to do what you want them to do..

Guide them... be with them.. & let them feel your arms around them...

In your Precious name I pray,
AMEN

Blessings to you all!

Prayers for Stellan

2009-06-19T00:20:00.004-05:00

If you Read MckMama's Blog you probably already know that sweet Stellan is back in the PICU again.. He's been having more episodes of SVT & this time they are having a really rough time getting it stopped..& having a harder time getting him to convert...Its 12:20 am here right now.. & MckMama just tweeted that things were getting rough..

If you would please.. Join me & others in prayer for this sweet babe..

Sweet Jesus.
please be near to Stellan during this difficult situation.. Lord you know his body & his heart better than we do.. Better than the doctors do.. You know what he can Handle & what he can't.. Lord God I pray that you will touch his heart.. Let it slow down to your perfect rhythm. Let his heart Have peace so he may rest.. Lord.. I pray for MckMama.. that you would surround her with you unfailing grace.. your unending peace & the comfort of your arms around her as she goes through this valley once again..

Jesus.. we commit this to your hands.. we are believing in your healing touch.. we are trusting in you for the final outcome of what the future holds for this sweet babe.. Be near to all of the ones involved in Stellan's Care.. Open their hearts & minds & be with them as decisions are being made..

We give you all the praise & all the glory because you alone are worthy to be praised mighty God..

In Jesus Name..
AMEN..

I am turning in for the night.. I have a early shift tomorrow.. will be praying every waking moment & will be checking Twitter regularly for updates... Please continue on warriors in prayer for this miracle baby..

In his Love,

Adrienne & Jim's Baby is here!

2009-06-17T09:01:00.004-05:00

Just wanted to let you all know that Adrienne & Jim's Baby Boy is here!! Yesterday Adrienne Posted a few times yesterday saying that Miss "A" had blood clots in her legs.. They went ahead to the hospital & started to induce her..

BABY BOY IS HERE!! I'll let Adrienne do the honors of introducing him to you.. so head on over to her blog to be introduced to him... Hopefully soon we will see pictures!!

CONGRATULATIONS TO ADRIENNE & JIM & BIG BROTHER OWEN..

We are praying for you all as the adoption process continues!!
Much love to you all!

Prayers & A Baby for Adrienne & Jim

2009-06-15T00:45:00.006-05:00

My heart is filled with prayers tonight.. prayer for 2 special friends that I hold dear to my heart..

I was driving back from church when I got the devastating news from Angie.. Her Aunt Fran had passed away this morning.. She had just gotten news yesterday that she was taking a turn for the worse... and Sadly passed away this morning.. Please Pray for Angie & Todd & the family.. That God will grant them peace as they Mourn the loss of their Loved one..

Lord GOD..
Be with Angie & her family.. Grant them peace & joy unspeakable as they celebrate the life of Aunt Fran.. Be with them & walk with them during this difficult time..Let them remember the sweet memories as they mourn their loss... Let their hearts be overflowing of your goodness & your peace...comfort them & wrap them in your everlasting arms..

In JESUS NAME,
AMEN

As many of you know... Adrienne & Jim are waiting to adopt a sweet baby boy who we thought was going to be here tonight.. But apparently Miss "A"s contractions weren't strong enough & she wasn't progressing any further.. they sent all of them home for the night.. Please please pray Adrienne & Jim & Owen as they prepare their hearts for this sweet bundle of Joy.. Please Pray for Miss "A" as she prepares to give birth to Baby Boy...Pray for the hearts & minds that are involved in this adoption.. That God will grant them peace & guidance in the coming days..

Lord God..
I ask you to please Give Adrienne & Jim peace.. Peace that passes all understanding.. Help them to put their trust in you during this exciting time of a new bundle of Joy coming into the world.. Grant Miss "A" peace.. Lead her to where you want her to be.. Give her peace of mind & peace of heart.. Be with all the parties involved in this adoption ... & most of all let you will be done lord God..

IN JESUS NAME,
AMEN

Keep on praying warriors.. Lets lift our dear SISTERS & BROTHERS up in prayer.. I know they sure are going to need it..

To check Angie's Blog Go here.
To check Adrienne's Blog. Go here.

May God Give you all Peace & you begin your week.. & may some incredible things happen as yo walk with HIM this Week..

GOD BLESS & MUCH LOVE,

AWESOME SCORE

2009-06-11T00:36:00.001-05:00

If you follow me on Twitter.. you probably know by now that James & I love to play our WII bowling game before we head to bed..some nights we'll just play a few rounds then turn in... Other nights we play for a couple hours & have a grand ole time.. Now.. if we could just find some friends who are ~~brave enough~~ willing to take on a challenge!! (If your ready.. Bring it on!) :-)

The other night just happened to be one of those nights where we played FOR A LONG TIME.. I think we were up till at least 1am playing.. The Main reason.. I was winning...

We had just started playing that night & I suddenly start getting strikes.. like I usually do when we first start..I knew that because I was playing so well I was gonna be enduring alot of ~~teasing~~ picking on from my sweet husband..

I thought after the third or fourth strike that surely I would start messing up & start getting spares... But NOOO... believe it or not.. I got all strikes.. during the entire game.. a perfect score!

Read it & weep it ya'll.. This girl is rocking on with a perfect score on WII BOWLING..

Yep.. This ~~old~~ girl.. won... a perfect game.. You wonder if I was able to do it again after that game.. Nope sure didn't & haven't been able to since the other night..

I need to keep working on that huh? ;-)

Meanwhile tonight while we were watching TLC.. I got out my craft stuff... I been thinking about making a eyeglass holder for my glasses.. Or for others who need them.. and here's how the one I made tonight turned out.. How ya'll like that?.. I think I'll need to make it just a tad bit longer.. but I love how it turned out.. don't you??

Guess I need to hold a contest huh?? hmmm what shall I do... I am open to ideas.. Let me know!!

Well dear friends.. I am off to sleep.. hopefully to have dreams about what kind of contest I can hold on this blog..

In His LOVE,

Not me Monday!

2009-06-01T21:18:00.002-05:00

COME ON!! Join the FUN.. Come Join MckMama's Blog Carnival... go check out her blog to see what other bloggers are not meing this week...
This is a fun weekly activity to be honest not only with ourselves but with others about what goes on in our everyday lives...

I didn't ~~haven't~~ been buying more magazines than usual just so I can stay on top of the Jon & Kate Plus 8 details & what they are saying about this family that ~~really badly~~ needs some christian marriage counseling.. Nope not me!

I have not been working on in our yard for the last couple weeks... getting our landscaping finished.. and still trying to get my roses ~~to come back from the dead~~ to live & bloom.. Just Bloom Beauties!!

I have ~~NOT~~ been listening to Michael W. Smith's new CD " A New Hallelujah" over especially his one song " Deep in Love With You" & have gotten this song Memorized into my brain... I hope one day soon I can learn how to play this song on the piano.. Nope Not Me!

I have ~~not~~ been having a winning streak in WII bowling against my sweet Husband who I believe has been messing up just so i could win... But its hasn't been messing him up because he keeps trying new moves, causing him to lose & me to win.. I most certainly haven't been tickled pink!.. Nope Not me!!

I most certainly wasn't all giddy & happy when my mom informed me on Saturday that they were going to stop by on their way home from Myrtle Beach, SC where they went for vacation.. I didn't spend most of the day after church cleaning & preparing for them to be here.. I didn't make my husbands favorite meal for their visit even thou we were kinda celebrating my mom's birthday that was on Saturday too.. I wasn't the least bit tired after they left.. Nope Not Me!

I certainly wasn't regretting my decision to not have a cup of coffee before I left for work this morning.. Nope not me!

I am not typing this as my hubby & I are having our nightly Bowling Tournament Before we go to bed.. Nope Not me!

I am not going to get off her.. finish bowling & go to bed... Nope Not Me!!

What Have You NOT Done Lately...

Happy Memorial Day

2009-05-25T23:01:00.003-05:00

Just wanted to say a huge THANK YOU to all of our armed forces & all of the Men & Women who have served in our military to keep us safe & to protect our freedoms.. May God Bless all of them & keep them safe as they serve our country.. If you haven't already done so.. go thank a veteran or person who is in the armed forces... I'm sure they would love to hear from you.. I know my brother in law was... I called him today to Thank him for all he's doing to keep us safe..

We've spent most of the morning around the house just talking & spending time together.. Then we installed our Solar Lights then went on to visit James's Mom & family that was visiting us from Michigan.. Then we went on to our oldest son's house & played with the grandkids & had us some more awesome family time & more trampoline time for me.. (please pray I don't wake up sore like I did 2 weeks ago..)

It was a incredible day off.. & had me so thankful for all the wonderful freedoms I get to experience today.. All because alot of people decided to serve our country & give their lives so we may live FREE..

Thank you Lord,
for the gifts & the freedoms that we have today.. We're such a spoiled nation.. but help us Lord to not take these freedoms & gifts that we have for granted.. Help us to see that there are so many other people in this world that don't have what we do.. that don't have the men & women that we do that go out away from their family to protect the freedoms that they so desperately deserve.. Lord God Help us to see that we are Free.. But not only Free but Free from bondage, but FREE from our Sins because of your Son JESUS.. We thank you so much lord.. for that gift of everlasting life.. I pray that if there are people who read this that don't know who Jesus Is. that they will find him & develop a personal relationship with him Lord..

Thank you again Lord.. that we live in the land of the Free & home of the brave..

In your name I pray,
AMEN

Blessings to you all this MEMORIAL DAY

Missing Maria

2009-05-21T12:30:00.003-05:00

Today is May 21st.. Today also marks a very tragic day for a special family that I hold dear to my heart.. The Chapmans.. Today is the day their sweet little Maria went to be home with Jesus one year ago..

What were you doing on May 21st of last year.. I was working that night.. I had picked up the 2 to 11 shift that night at work.. & had no clue what had happened until I arrived home.. I got on the computer really fast & remember seeing the headline news about Maria.. My heart broke in two.. I read the news to find out what had happened & turned off the computer & crawled in bed crying & praying for the Chapmans.. NO, LORD.. this can't be true I remember saying as my heart cried out to him.. Praying for peace, praying for comfort during this difficult time.. At that time I didn't know all the details except that she had gotten hit in the driveway & didn't survive.. I prayed earnestly for the brother that was involved in the accident.. Praying that God will give him peace.. that God would stretch forth his hand & keep it on the brother..

As they finally came out to do interviews I kept praying.. Praying that their FAITH would Overcome their Grief.. Sure enough.. their FAITH has held them thur.. Even though I don't know the Chapmans personally but I know that they are still going to have bad days.. days were they miss her so much that it hurts.. days were they just want to be alone.. days were they just want to have their sweet monkey back..but I know what they know.. We will see sweet Maria once again.. She's in heaven.. with Jesus.. Having a grand ole' time..

One year later.. The Chapmans have experienced the death of a sweet daughter, graduation of eldest son, the marriage of a daughter, graduation of another son & the marriage of eldest son.. They have had a long road since then to get to where they are now.. but through it all they have chosen the greatest thing that anyone can.. They have all chosen to cling to the cross.. Cling to their savior for the strength to make it through the valley of those hard days.. strength to make it through those days where its just to painful to go on.. strength to go on & find a new "normal" without Maria..

LORD JESUS,

I pray for this incredible family.. A family that desires to love & serve you in every way that they can.. A family that desires every soul to know you personally, a family that reaches out during their pain & grief to minister to the lost & dying world.. a family that works to make a difference in other people's life by working to make adoption possible for families that want to have a family.. a family that ministers to others using the music that comes from their hearts to reach others who need you LORD. Lord grant them peace, comfort & pour out your spirit on them as they continue to grow in you LORD... Let them continue on LORD.. Because we're not home yet LORD..

AMEN

Will you join me & continue to pray for the Chapmans during this difficult day?
If you want to stay up to date on the Chapmans.. Go here.. please go visit the site & love on them today!

God Bless,

10 Pounds Down!

2009-05-21T00:38:00.003-05:00

Okay.. I've kept you all in suspense long enough haven't I??

Remember that Tweet on Friday while I was at the Doctor's office saying that I had some wonderful news??

Well I'm ready to share it.. Well.. I've LOST 10 POUNDS!!

Pretty amazing huh? 10lbs in 2 months.. Lets see how much more weight I can lose in the next month.

Here's what I've been doing a bit different..I've been trying to eat more veggies.. More salads & more homecooked meals instead of eating out..

Instead of drinking cokes Or Diet cokes I drink either water, tea or Diet Rite.. (Diet Rite has no sugar.. no sodium & no caffinee & no Aspertaime.. just good ole' splenda..)

I've been walking Dino a bit more.. instead of just hooking him up to the chain to let him take care of business I take him out on the leash & walk around the yard with him.. A couple times a week I walk him up the road & back.. we are working on changing this to a everyday thing now.. just give it a couple weeks :-)

Sometimes During my 20 minute breaks at work I just walk around instead of going to the break room..I usually spend my lunch studying or reading or doing bible study..while I eat that is..

I look forward to pressing towards my 50 lb goal... just 40lbs more to go guys..

If you wanna share your tips with me please feel free to leave them here as a comment or email them to me.. I would love to hear from you!!

Also.. if you haven't heard already.. Baby Stellan made it to the news again.. Go to MckMama's Blog or go see the fox news story they did on Stellan..

Well better get off here.. we got plenty to do today.. We are planning on working on our landscaping in our yard today since I'm off.. Praying we end up getting a couple ROSEBUSHES!! Any tips on that??

Ok.. Heading for bed..

Much love to you all!

We love you Kayleigh!!

2009-05-19T12:00:00.001-05:00

As many of you know.. Sweet Kayleigh went to be home with Jesus Last Monday Night.. So those who couldn't drive to North Carolina to attend the memorial service were able to participate in the memorial by Releasing Ballons at 4pm EST (3Pm CST)

That's exactly what I did right after I cooked James & I lunch.. I stepped outside for a few minutes to Release her balloons & to Pray for the Freemans

Lord JESUS.. Please cover Adam, Aimee, Allyson & Brandon in your peace.. Give them comfort int he knowledge that Kayleigh is forever with you.. that she's dancing, flying around with you in Heaven.. Give them the sweetest memories to remember her sweet life here on earth.. Let Kayleigh's story reach to people who so desperately need to know of your unending love, let them see you when they hear of her Sweet life... Lord we thank you for healing Kayleigh's body.. It may not be the way we wanted but it was what you wanted.. We thank you for that healing & we thank you for the eternal life that she has with you in heaven.. We look forward to seeing her again on the other side... We praise & Love you lord..
In your precious name we pray..
Amen..

Here are the pictures I took of the balloon release I did Sunday afternoon..I wasn't able to get a picture of the Balloons going up in the air because the wind was really blowing hard..

WE LOVE YOU KAYLEIGH!!!

Not me Monday.

2009-05-18T22:14:00.003-05:00

Its that time of week again! Time to confess those Not me's! Check out this cool Blog Carnival that MckMama started & go to her blog to check out what others are Not Meing!

Its not been almost 2 Months since I had Not Me'd.. Nope...not me...

In these last couple months I've not been spending ~~more~~ time with my sweet Husband who's still having a difficult time seeing..
During these last couple months I've not gone on a ~~wild~~ cleaning spree with my husband & managed to get all of the junk cleaned out of our garage & the stuff that we are keeping into a brand new mini barn..

I've not only experienced the joy of losing ~~weight~~ due to my ~~new~~ medication that I have been on for my ADHD & even went to buy a new sundress this past week to celebrate the occasion... Nope not me!

After being on my ADHD Medication for awhile I didn't decide to start taking Piano Lessons.. Nope not me..

I didn't spend my very first Mother's day with my sweet husband & Mother in Law & My oldest stepson & his wife & kids..

I most certainly didn't have my first piano lesson this evening with my wonderful friend Corina..

And I most certainly am not typing this Not me Post while watching Indiana Jones with My dear husband.. nope Not me!!

What Have you not done lately?

Prayers for The Freemans & The Chapmans

2009-05-15T10:00:00.003-05:00

Many of you already know.. Sweet Kayleigh went home to be with Jesus on Monday nite... She's No longer in pain or suffering & is flying around with the Angels right now.. Please pray for Amiee & Adam Freeman as they prepare for her memorial service on Sunday... Also..If your like me & can't make the trip to the Memorial Service than Adam is asking us all to do this.. (the following is from Kayleigh's Blog)

Many of you asked if there were something you could do to help and we came up with an idea. On Sunday (May 17th), at 4:00PM(EST) after the memorial, we will be letting off pink balloons in Kayleigh's name. Tied to each balloon will be a card that reads: Kayleigh Anne Freeman Our One Pound Miracle from God (6/23/08 - 5/11/09) http://www.kayleighannefreeman.blogspot.com/

So if your able to on Sunday after the Service at 3pm CST & 4pm EST release a pink balloon in memory of this sweet little angel..

Also Please Keep Steven Curtis Chapman & his family in your prayer as well.. Wednesday was Maria's birthday & they are approaching the one year mark of her passing away (May 21).. Please pray that God will cover them in peace as they remember this sweet little angel.. Pray For Steven as he continues on with his tour this summer & as the Chapman family as they prepare for their trip to China.. They have been preparing Maria's House of Hope in China for the Orphans & will be going over there this summer to visit with those who need forever families.. Please pray for traveling mercies & for comfort & peace as they Remember Sweet Maria this summer..

Please keep these incredible families in your thougths & prayers in the coming days...May God bless you all!

Brokenness

2009-05-09T11:56:00.008-05:00

I believe that as Christians we have gotten to the point in which we are on a "Spiritual High"

"What In the World are you talking about Rissa?

Okay let me explain.. Here's an example.

You encounter a situation in which your heart breaks for either a certain person or situation. You arrive home brokenhearted asking GOD to "Help you get PAST this feeling" Asking GOD to "HEAL" the situation or the Brokenhearted person.. Asking GOD to take the Brokenness from you..

Then you get out your favorite CD or Movie.. You start focusing your mind on anything else but "THAT SITUATION or PERSON" Before you know it VOILA.. All is well & your back to feeling on GOOD & everything in Life is Grand.. Now you can finally move on with your Day with that situation or person a distant thought as you become more focused on the things you have to do or more focused on your "HAPPY GO LUCKY" Feeling..

OKAY RISSA... Where are you going with this??

I have a Question.. How are Can we reach a LOST & DYING World if we don't have compassion in our hearts??

My Pastor Spence Creasy said this Sunday & I believe that it really does speak the truth.

"Your not going to reach the lost until you have a passion in your heart for souls.."

Ask yourselves this.. "Do I allow this Brokenness to help me reach out to the ones who need GOD's Unending Love Or Do I quickly look for a quick "SPIRITUAL HIGH" by grabbing my music player & listening to some uplifting music or Do I turn on the TV to get a good dose of laughter before I move on?

How are we going to reach those without CHRIST if we don't allow that brokenness to mold us into being a stronger witness & have a stronger passion in our hearts for the lost & brokenhearted.

The reason I am sayi ng this is because ever since a few of my Friends.. (And Yes I really do consider you all my friends my Dear Brothers & Sisters) Went to India with Compassion International its caused a bit of a stir in my soul.. Then on Sunday Morning My Pastor Spence Creasy went on to speak about the very thing I was dealing with. (Can I get a AMEN?)

How can you not look at those pictures & not Feel the urge to do something about it?

How Can I read the Post's from the Compassion Bloggers about their recent trip t o India & not have grief over the way they have to live over there & I have so many freedoms that are so Precious to me..

How can I wake up with these thoughts on my mind & have anything but a broken heart for these people that so need Jesus!

Do I choose to go get my mp3 Player or favorite book or movie to get on a "SPIRITUAL HIGH"

No..

I choose to go about my day with a broken heart full of passion to reach as many lost souls as I can.

I pray that my heart will stay broken so that I can continue to reach others & serve the Kingdom of GOD.. I pray that GOD will give me compassion for those who need him & that passion to serve others will stay on fire in my soul & that those flames will NEVER Die..

So the choice is yours..

"SPIRITUAL HIGH"

Are you going to be BROKEN?

* Speical thanks to my Friend Robin who allowed me to use some of her pictures from her trip to INDIA on my blog.

Update on my Sweet Husband

2009-05-05T23:05:00.003-05:00

For those of you who have been praying THANK YOU SOO MUCH! God Is sooo Good.. I think my worst fear of everything that was going on was that James was going to end up in the hospital.. But God is sooo Good! I took yesterday off.. So we could try to get all appointments done in one day.. but apparently the eye clinic couldn't see him till Today. Yesterday we went to the Foot Doc.. He looked at the spot on James's big toe & said that it was a ulcer & that all we needed to do was soak it in Bendite 2x a day plus James is to take Antibiotics for awhile.. We go back next Friday to see how its healing up.. As far as the EYE situation they ran some tests today & have confirmed that James's right eye ( the one he had surgery on) started bleeding again..Dunno if this is related to his BP or what.. But we will see the Eye Doc on June 1st to find out our next course of action. Today was just a visit for tests & a ultrasound of the eye..

James is to stay off his foot for the next few weeks.. so thankfully he still has his crutches & his wheelchair.. so that will help a lot when it comes to him having to get around the house while I'm gone at work.. for the most part when I'm off or not working I'll be staying home to help him & take care of him..

I have some things on my heart that I hope to be able to share with you.. but am working on How to get the thoughts out on the blog.. taking some time to Pray & think over what I want to say..

I start my Piano lessons hopefully tomorrow nite.. so hopefully tomorrow nite after that I'll have another post up.. Please forgive me for not posting more.. & please pray that my allergies go away..they really have been bothering me the last couple days..

Well my friends.. I'm off here to mop & then head to bed..

Much Love to all of you! Thanks again for your prayers!

Prayers for my Hubby

2009-05-04T01:55:00.002-05:00

Its been on wild ride this past week & weekend.. it all started when I noticed that the bottom of my husbands big toe on his right foot didn't look right..It was looking like someone had cut a hole on the top layer of his skin & it was starting to look ~~like it was scabbing over~~ bad.. Now so often I have to change the bandage because its ~~leaking fluid~~ draining. I clean it with peroxide & cover it with Neosporin & a band aid.. each time praying that it heals..

but if that was the only thing to report I would probably be in a much ~~happier~~ better mood than I've been in the last couple days.. but its not the only thing I have to report about our weekend.. I had planned to post yesterday but was to upset to do so..

I had to work Friday nite.. James was feeling kinda bad but just was resting so he could get comfortable & feeling better.. I left for work & called him during my last break of the nite.. what he told me next after we said hey to each other blew my socks off. All he said was "Hmm Honey. I can't see anything out of my right eye at all.." I was like "Huh? what? Your kidding? "Sure enough when I arrived home I asked him if he could see anything & he said NO..
We called the emergency number for his specialist in Nashville Saturday.. but ended up getting a doctor that was on call & knew nothing about my husbands case & totally shrugged my husband off & said to come in Monday..So today not only do we have to go see the foot doctor to see about my husbands infected toe. (I'll spare you from having to see the pic I have because it does look kinda bad) so add to it the fact that we're going to have to get into see the eye doctor..I'm scheduled to work.. but won't be going in due to all of this.. SORRY STEVE!
My husband needs me to help get to the appointments & there is a slight possibility that with his infected toe & the fact that he is a diabetic they might end up putting him in the hospital.. plus the eye doc might want to go into surgery too to see whats going on.. So will you all please keep us in your prayers today (I'm up late posting this at 1:30 am)

Please pray that God will give us the strength to take what the doctors say & that God will guide the doctor's hands to do what is right for my husbands health..

I would be lying to say if I'm okay with all of this.. Because really I'm not.. I'm nervous about what will take place today but trusting God for whatever outcome we are faced with.. So as you pray for my husband & his health.. Will you please pray that I'll stay calm & won't freak out if the doctors mention Hospital or Surgery?

I'll be sure to keep you all posted via Twitter & possibly will post as the day wears on if I can..My blackberry wouldn't let me post the other night so I'm working on that issue too as we speak so I can have that available to me during the chaos of today.. To all of you who have already sent me response to my twitter's about everything I appreciate your love & prayers.. And to my very Best friend Kate.. Dunno what I would have done without you this weekend!! THANKS SIS!

with much love,

The Noticer By Andy Andrews

2009-04-27T09:00:00.002-05:00

Just so you all know.. I’ve started a new “hobby” as many of you all know I love to read. Thomas Nelson Publishing company has a thing just right up my ally.. They have a program called Thomas Nelson Blog Reviewers.. They send you the book.. you read it & then write a review about it on your blog & post it on a sellers website.. This is my first review. Hope you guys enjoy it as much as I enjoyed the book!

The Noticer

This book is about an old man named “Jones”. Not “Mr. Jones”. Just Jones…a old man that drifts around and has a special gift for “noticing” things about people that they don’t notice.. He helps them by giving them a little “Perspective” about their life. He encounters people who are in poverty, a couple going through a rocky road in their marriage. Jones is a man who brings hope to people who feel they have No hope, helps them find solutions to the many problems that they face in their day to day life.

When I first got this book from Thomas Nelson for the Blog review I was so excited. I have never read any of Andy Andrews’s other books but have heard good things about his work. And I could’t put the book down but wasn’t able to finish the book in one sitting like I wanted to. I even started reading the book to my husband & he loved it as well! I loved the way the story was written & I loved the wisdom that Jones’s imparted in the stories told. I loved the way in which I felt I could relate with some of the situations going on with the characters in the book. The advice they were given made me reflect on my own life & make me wonder how I can apply the advice Jones gave them to my everyday life. I loved the part in which he helps the married couple by explaining to them that everyone speaks a different dialect using the example of the 5 love languages. And I loved the ending in which they all share stories of how Jones has influenced their lives with his “Perspective”

I believe that everyone needs to read this book. Because everyone needs a little “Perspective” in their lives. This book gets a 5 star review from me for sure! So go hit the bookstore today. Find “The Noticer” & sit down & get settled in for an incredible book!

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookSneeze.com book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

I saw a bunny!

2009-04-26T22:42:00.004-05:00

Today was a good day... started kinda rushed because I woke up an hour late & only had a hour to get ready & be at church.. Got there right when service started WHEW! Service was Awesome!

Then I went home to spend time with my dear husband.. I took Dino out for a few minutes then laid down.. I was more tired than hungry & actually slept for 3 hours before finally getting up to make us some lunch.

Shortly after lunch Dino started whining & come running into the living room whining..I figured something was wrong so I got up to follow him something was at our back door & Dino wanted it.. sure enough I looked out & saw a Rabbit just sitting there in the grass by the door..

So I quickly got my camera & quietly sneak up on it & take a few pictures.. I eventually scared it off & it ran to hide under our mini barn.. so i thought before I head to bed I would share a picture with you..

This was my unexpected blessing today.. I got to enjoy one of God's Little Creatures bouncing around in my yard.. To be honest.. I kinda wish it would have let me get closer & pet it.. But maybe another time..

Did you have any unexpected blessings today? If so what was it? Feel free to share!

Prayers are needed..& Ramblings.

2009-04-25T15:22:00.006-05:00

First & foremost.. I want you to please spend some time praying for Nicol & Greg Spongberg. Angie's Husband's Sister & her husband.. You may remember last year their sweet little Luke went to be with Jesus..Greg & Nicol just recently announced that they found out that they were expecting again.. sadly Nicol was having problems with the pregnancy & was rushed to the hospital last Saturday.. Sadly she has miscarried the baby.. will you please pray for them & go to their blog & love on them during this difficult time?

Also.. for those of you wondering about Kayleigh.. they did another brain scan & they still can't find any brain activity at all.. She is breathing on her own & will wake up but will not respond like she normally would.. Please please pray for Adam & Aimee during this difficult time.. I know nothing is impossible with God.. Please pray for God's will during this difficult situation.. go to Kayleigh's blog for updates & to send them your love & encouragement!

AND sweet Stellan Has had and incredible night & day so far today!! NO SVT!! PRAISE GOD.. so chances are now that they have a drug that will help him stay out of SVT the goal is to get him go have no episodes so hopefully they can go home in 48 hours!! (correct me if I'm wrong MckMama!) Praise be to Jesus... Keep Praying for this little angel..

My heart is broken for all of these families.. so much going on & the only thing I can do for all of them is send my love & support & prayers...

Speaking of Prayers.. Please pray for the COMPASSION BLOGGER GROUP that's in India right now.. Yep you heard me.. they just got in a few hours ago.. Pray for Angie Smith, Anne Jackson, Spence Smith, Pete Wilson, Shaun Groves, Melissa Fitzpatrick, Robin Dance,
Patrica Jones, & Keely Scott. They are on this mission trip In India.. & will be blogging about it... so go check out their blogs, (just click on their names & it will take you to it! ) They will be on this trip so please pray for their safety & that they get to have an incredible experience with God on this trip!

I just wanted to share those requests with all of you..

My apologies for not updating more & SOONER than I said i would its been a wild week & weekend here in our household... my work schedule is kinda messed up which leaves me with a bit more time today to tweek & do some much needed things around the house.. I got most of the cleaning done & working on a draft for a book review that I will publish Monday at some point.. Keep an eye out for it because your gonna want to read this book.. If you haven't noticed I've been twittering about it.. so yes its gonna be sooo worth your time..

well I better get off here & finish my draft.. & get ready for work.. only going in for 5 hours tonight.. so this is kinda a weird day for me to only go in for a few hours..

one more thing.. we just got some new neighbors.. please pray for them as well.. haven't met them yet.. but will later today.. I've been praying for neighbors that are I can get to know well & hopefully become friends with.. so we'll see.. Just keep them in prayer as they get Settled in & that everything goes smoothly..

until I write again.. may God Bless you & Keep you.. May he bless you with something unexpected!

In his Love,

PRAY FOR KAYLEIGH!

2009-04-21T23:58:00.005-05:00

I just hopped on the blog for a few minutes to try to update my orange for Stellan post by adding my orange pictures.. I scrolled down & in the section where it say "My Bloggy Friends" I noticed that Adam & Aimee have updated about Kayleigh.. Another sweet baby that I follow.. The Post caught my attention so i quickly went over to check to see what was happening.. Warriors.. we need to fall on our knees tonight for another sweet baby... Sweet Kayleigh had surgery a few days ago & was doing apparently better..but now she won't wake up & they can't find any brain activity at all.

Please pray for this sweet angel.. That God will fix her brain waves so that her recovery can continue & she'll get to go home soon..

Lord Jesus,
please bring peace to Adam & Aimee.. let your comfort overwhelm them.. wrap them in your embrace & let them see your hand at work.. touch Kayleigh's body..let her life come in line with your perfect word.. Lord I ask for healing.. for speedy recovery.. let her brain waves go back to the perfect rhythm that they are supposed to..

Have your hand in this situation Lord God.. Guide the doctors who are in charge of her care.. give them the wisdom to do what you would want them to do for your child lord..
Be with this family.. Walk close to them & give them peace that only you can give..
In your name,
Amen

To check for update on Kayleigh.. please go here.

May you all join us in storming the gate of heaven for another sweet angel.

In his love,

Orange for Stellan!

2009-04-21T01:45:00.003-05:00

It's been a long day.. with work.. things to do around the house (we're still in the middle of spring cleaning.. working on the garage) & thinking about Stellan as they prepare for his surgery this morning around 8:30...its almost 2am.. & I cannot sleep.. my body is tired.. beckoning me to go to bed but I know that my mind cannot rest.. Sweet Stellan needs my prayers..and I have been praying.. cringing at each tweet I get from MckMama as she describes whats going on..he's hungry.. but hes NPO.. can't eat until after the surgery I assume.. he is still in SVT..finally I get a tweet.. He's sleeping...

Lord Be with MckMama & Stellan.. hold them both closely to you tonight as they try to get rest before the dawns light.. Give MckMama comfort & peace that only comes from you..
Guide the doctors hands as they operate.. give them wisdom to do what you want them to do lord.. be with them as they operate on this sweet little baby..
Be with MckMama & her Dad as they wait while Stellan's in surgery.. Give them Peace that surpasses all understanding..
Lord you are the Great Physician.. Nothing is impossible for you..We trust in your plan for this sweet little baby..
In your name I pray..
AMEN

For those of you who don't know the plan.. we are wearing orange shirts today in support of Stellan.. so if you have one.. WEAR IT.. I'll post pictures later of our Stellan outfits.. after i send it in to orangeforstellan@gmail.com they are starting to take pictures in around 8:30 when the surgery begins.. & will stop when the surgery ends..(it should be about 3 hours long).. and if you want you can order Stellan bracelets.. just hop on over to MckMama's Blog for the link on how to get them..

My heart is heavy with so many things right now.. There is more I want to share.. but I don't know how.. When the time is right I will I suppose.. but meanwhile.. pray for this sweet baby.. & his mama.. because they sure do need all of our love & support..

In his love,

Tribute to Murfreesboro Tornado Victims...

2009-04-15T00:21:00.003-05:00

I found this You Tube Tribute to the Murfreesboro Tornado Victims.. Please settle in & take 5 minutes of your time to watch this..

Its been a long weekend & week so far.. busy with work (its been slammed) & then spent some time volunteering At the Red Cross.. it was a very humbling experience..and I do have plans to go back & help out some more..

Some friends & I are planning something in the near future.. but I'm keeping that under wraps for now..

I've been up for 20 hours.. so its time for me to go bed.. Hope you all have a blessed night!! May God Bless you & keep you all!!

Much Love,

We survived...the tornadoes that is..

2009-04-12T01:06:00.004-05:00

Yep.. your not imagining the post title.. Its sooo very true..I would have posted sooner but to be completely honest the last 24 hours have been exhausting..

It was around 12pm Friday when I received a twitter update from a couple friends in Franklin.. Thanks Michael Hyatt & Spence Smith! Both updates were saying something about severe weather & a tornado warning.. I quickly put my book down & ran for the TV to watch NewsChannel5... sure enough.. we were on tornado warnings until about 2pm or so... I began to get ready for work.. continuing to watch the weather to make sure that it would be safe to leave for work.. I noticed that it was getting darker outside.. so I woke James up.. to tell him that we were on tornado warning...Than my Neighbor next door & one of my closest friends called me from her work in Franklin.. & told me that it was coming our way.. sure enough Lights started flickering & I look the TV & see the path that the tornado was heading.. It was heading right for our little area outside of town.. then the cable went out!! I got Dino in the bathroom & Stood by the door listening.. We could hear the hail but nothing else.. in about a few minutes the hail stopped.. it was silent & dark outside.. James sat still listening.. I tried several times to get him in the bathroom with me & Dino but he Just sat on the bed listening.. saying that he didn't hear no tornado & that we were fine..

Around 1:30 when it was time for me to leave it got dark & started storming really bad again.. I called into work to let them know I would be late.. But apparently it would have done me no good to try to go in anyways because they were on lock down where I work due to the tornadoes.. after about 30 minutes or so it started getting sunny out & I called work to see if they were still on lock down.. they said that they were fine & I could make my way in now.. So around 2:20pm I left the house going the back way because I knew that the main roads would be closed because Thompson lane got hit badly according to the news & the updates I was getting from friends..

Normally if I take the back way towards work I can get there in about 15 minutes.. Friday.. that wasn't the case.. due to the tornadoes that hit murfreesboro traffic was backed up for nearly 30 minutes when I was trying to make my way to work.. and what I saw made my heart crush.. See our house & subdivision got totally missed by the tornado.. but what I didn't know was that the tornado that touched down in Walter Hill touched down about a mile or so away from our house.. from what I can tell it destroyed a mini barn, the roof of a house & took off part of a stable just down the road from us..there are a bunch of trees that are down in this area as well.. and you can see the path of the tornado by looking at the damage. You can see the stable that got hit.. the fence where the tornado went thru & then hit the mini barn.. Sheriff's dept & State Troopers had the road leading to Thompson Ln blocked off.. so we all had to go on Hwy 96 to get to town.. I sat in my car for nearly 30 minutes before I finally made it out of the traffic & was able to make it to town.. all together it took me 45 minutes to get to work..

Its been crazy here the last two days because we've been busy with customers coming in to buy stuff for easter & also people getting stuff for the people affected by the tornadoes..

It breaks my heart that these homes have been affected.. it breaks my heart that a 20 year old young woman & her 9 week old baby were killed due to the tornadoes.. It reminds me so much of how blessed I truly am.. He protected me & my husband, protected my house.. & protected my friends as well.. I've not heard from anyone close to me that has been affected by the tornadoes.

Today after church I think that James & I are going to see the damage ourselves & see how we can help..Please pray for our town of Murfreesboro as we pick up the pieces of our homes here & business's that were affected.. Please pray that God will grant us peace during this easter season.. that we may keep our eyes on him & keep our heads lifted high as we begin this long process of putting our town & our homes back together...

LORD JESUS,
Thank you so much for your blessings.. thank you for your protection on us for keeping us safe.. I pray for the family that lost a wife, daughter & sister that they will find you in this difficult time.. I pray for the husband of the young lady that died, that you will give him peace & that if he doesn't know you that he will find you.. I pray for all the people who were affected, whos homes were destroyed or damaged.. I pray for you unending peace to fill their hearts tonight.. Help us to do what we have to do to pick up the pieces from this awful mess.. Help us keep our focus on you as we build back up what was torn down.. Give us strenght in this difficult time..

Thank you for the cross.. thank you for the blessing of the washing away of our sins.. all because Jesus came & died & paid the price for us.. I pray that souls would come to know you today lord.. That they will see that there is no life without you.. that you are life.. & bring everlasting life..

Lord.. thank you for the empty tomb.. its because of this I know that your precious son is coming back again..and thats a wonderful thing to look forward to..

I praise & magnify your precious name..
AMEN

Serious life

2009-04-07T13:00:00.001-05:00

I wanted you to know about this publication I’m a part of called Serious.Life Magazine. They just published a new issue today, and I am in their Featured Blog Directory. It’s a very high quality magazine… you’ll really like it.

The magazine includes a lot of great content from bloggers you’ll appreciate, as well as great features, photos and other content. The magazine is owned and published by a family who have seven kids, three adopted and one who has Leukemia (www.riggsfamilyblog.com). The magazine gives away a bunch of ads to charities and ministries. Besides great articles on interesting people, there is a lot about family, adoption, personal finance, spiritual life, humor… all sorts of “life” topics.

Again, the subscription is FREE, and I know you’ll enjoy the magazine, so take a minute to check it out and sign up to get future issues. www.seriouslifemagazine.com

Check it out!!

Blessings,

Pray for the Smiths...

2009-04-07T08:04:00.002-05:00

For those of you who don't follow my good friend Angie's Blog.. If you wouldn't mind doing so would you please pray for Her, Her Husband & family today as they remember their sweet Daugherty Audrey who was born on April 7th & then went on to be with Jesus just 2 1/2 hours afterward..Please pray for peace.. Peace that passes all understanding... Pray for comfort as they go on with their day today.. I can't imagine how hard it's gonna be for them today..

Send them some words of encouragement & love... I'm sure the Angie & Todd will appreciate it..

Much Love,

Spring Clean..

2009-04-06T23:30:00.003-05:00

Its been a long and tiring weekend..Where to start I have no clue.. But than again that's been the way this WHOLE entire weekend has gone.. I had several things that I really needed to accomplish & alot of it involved SPRING CLEANING.. There yep I said it... See I kinda got a 3 day weekend from work.. Off Friday.. Work Saturday nite.. then off Sunday & Monday..

First on Friday I spent about 5 hours on the phone trying to get some things straighten out..
Apparently about 5 months ago I ordered some batteries for my behind the ear implant.. & still haven't received them so I spent an hour talking to audiologist at Vandy.. then about 4 hours talking to insurance & the Cochlear Implant Company about why I've not received my parts & why they were sending me bills for stuff that Insurance paid for 2 years ago.... Believe me when I say this.. as frustrating as it is to be stuck in the world where i'm in between being deaf & hearing.. I believe that going thru that 4 hour session on the phone with Insurance & Cochlear is much much more frustrating .. (Just so you understand why I twittered that it is frustrating being deaf/hard of hearing..)

James had purchased a much needed Mini Barn because to be honest.. our garage was getting a little too full..i mean come on.. a riding lawn mower.. a atv.. the motorcycle..the bikes... tools., etc.. it was crammed.. and anytime we needed to work on the cars.. we couldn't bring them into the garage to work on them... Double bummer for my husband..because he really wanted to be able to work in the garage.. So problem solved.. buy a mini barn.. move lawn mowers, bikes, atv....into the mini barn ~~which is now crammed full~~ but was that finished... nope... i had about ~~hundreds~~ 10 boxes to go thru.. had to sort thur what i wanted to keep.. and what I wasn't using and could be given away.. Believe me when I say this.. I HAVE NEVER THREW AWAY SO MUCH STUFF IN MY LIFE!!

I have gone thru about 3 trash bags..2 boxes by Saturday.. and tommorrow I'll be taking 3 more boxes of trash to the dump & 6 boxes/bags of stuff to Goodwill.. Talk about accomplishing something...

I've also managed to get my closet cleaned up a bit.. & even brought out my ~~husband's~~ keyboard... brought out my music books & tickled the Ivories for a bit.. I've even made arrangements to start taking lessons again & will be starting soon..I'm so excited.. I think I blew the socks off my husbands feet tonight when I played "When the Saints go marching in" for him.. I guess taking Music Appreciation / Beginners Piano during my first year of college really paid off huh??

The house is looking alot better.. I'm working on becoming more organized. Thanks to my Husband who does far more better than I do in that area right now.. I'm picking up his habits & really starting to Hate the clutter..

Great news.. I called the Student Loan Company today.. My Loan Is PAID IN FULL.. PRAISE GOD.. planning & preparing & being patient really do pay off... Its such a wonderful feeling to know I have that Debt behind me now..

Stellan Has gone back into SVT.. Please continue to pray for him & his mom...as of right now he has a new doctor on his case & will be trying a new PLAN.. so please continue to pray for his heart & that God's will is done in his life.. Pray for the doctors who are taking care of him... for updates please go to MckMama's blog.

Well I better turn in..its been a long weekend.. & I have a long week looming ahead of me..
I have more to share with you about some stuff that I will be doing in the near future.. but let me leave you with this question.. The past 2 Sundays sermons have really been sticking with me.. (Thanks Spence!!!) & when I get it up I will share my thoughts with you about it here... but ask your self this.. How does excellence & peace impact your personal & spiritual life?

Feel free to share your ideas & thoughts with me on that.. you can leave a comment or email me.. I would love to hear your thoughts..

okay... I'm rambling... don't wanna bore you & make you leave my blog for good... Until my next post.. May God bless you & Keep You!