It was a heart attack

It’s been 13 weeks since James passed away.. Since my sweet husband went on to be with Jesus Forever & Ever.. 13 weeks of anxiously waiting on the results from the autopsy.. Waiting with a bit of dread of what the autopsy would reveal the cause of death would be..

Well the waiting is no longer necessary… apparently they had the results a while ago… they just never informed us that they had it.. So after several phone calls we finally reached them…and they finally told us the answer to the question we’ve had for so long… What was the cause of death??

Apparently he had a heart attack while he slept, which also severely damaged his heart but thankfully he didn’t have any pain or any suffering whatsoever because he was asleep when this occured..and for that.. I am so thankful to God that God granted James his request & took him in his sleep. Just the way James prayed that God would take him..

My heart aches.. I am relieved that our main question as has been answered.. But there are still questions that remain… for me there is.. questions that I ask myself.. like why didn’t his heart doctor do more test on that Friday before he died.. Why didn’t he take my husband seriously when my husband asked him to run more tests?.. Why didn’t the doctor see that the water build up was worse then it had been before and send him to the hospital?. WHY?

But I am not in control.. God is.. God knew that this was going to take place long before it did.. God knew that this is the way that James would go to be with him.. God knew the battle my husband was struggling with day in and day out.. He knew my husband’s pain & suffering that he has gone thru in the past four years.. The endless battle that he had going on with his vision.. the worry about possibly waking up completely blind.. the struggles he had with his back injury & the pain that he dealt with daily .. God knew that James was dealing with all this & more. so he decided the best plan was to let him go home & be with him..

The way I see it.. God knew how much James could handle.. James made a statement several times that if he went blind he wouldn’t be able to handle it.. My heart broke & ached each time I heard him say that.. Maybe God knew that complete blindness was fixing to happen & knew that he couldn’t deal with it.. so he took him home before he would ever have to experience total darkness..

For that complete healing of his eyes, body & heart I am so ever thankful to God for that.. For the complete restoration of his heart that had been broken in two by some events from his past I thank God for that as well.

James Died of a Heart Attack.. James died with a damaged heart.. but the way I see it.. James has been received into Glory for eternity.. And his heart that was broken has been made whole.. & is beating.. the prefect beat that only comes from God himself

Rejoice my Dear.. for your broken heart has been healed.. your broken body has been made whole.. your broken spirit has been filled to the brim with Joy that only comes from God himself.. Rejoice for your in the presence of our almighty creator.. you no longer have to struggle day to day in this life here on earth.. Rejoice because one day soon we will be reunited.. We will be able to wrap our arms around each other & look each other in the eye again & say I love you.. and this time.. we will never part again..

I love you Baby, I miss you, but I chose to rejoice in the fact that you are in heaven & I will see you again.

All my Love,